Quote: Stuart Macfarlane @ March 14 2011, 8:42 PM GMTI for one have not been wasting my time since sending in my entry. I wrote a self-help book entitled, 'One-Hundred ways to commit suicide after being rejected by a publisher.' I sent it off to all the major UK publishing houses. I haven't had any of the usual replies yet so I'm really hopeful that it will get picked up.
Did one of those involve death by awkwardly placed train?
Quote: Declan @ March 14 2011, 8:13 PM GMTAnybody want to own up to this one?
Garry rushes Stage Left to Stage Right, and goes off. Tabs open to reveal a train carriage taking up most of the stage
Oh, no, I had a jumbo jet landing but it was a Virgin flight so thought it may bring in some sponsorship money for advertising them
Quote: bushbaby @ March 14 2011, 8:49 PM GMTOh, no, I had a jumbo jet landing but it was a Virgin flight so thought it may bring in some sponsorship money for advertising them
I'll see your jumbo and raise you the Ark Royal. I'm sure it will go for a knockdown price.
No - but one involved death by 'Awkwardly swallowing a train and having it stick in the throat.' This avoids the need for any awkward scenery - so sort of 'death on a budget'.
George Bloody Osbourne again 
Three hours before I start writing a new sitcom.
Instead of fretting and faffing and all that shenaniganery, I've been playing Mass Effect 2 for a few hours, and shall continue to do so until midnight.
So if you're a fretter or a faffer, maybe go and do something else instead of fretting and faffing. Time will pass a lot quicker.
My writing partner and I are having some ciders on the South Bank - come by if anyone's in the vicinity: we can have a smartphone browser-page refreshing party!
/saps
I see your train carriage and raise you:
'The opening comes with the end of an intense montage depicting the two characters performing insane stunts and amazing feats; production value is high and the content very flashy.
Contains scenes like crashing cars, running from explosions, fist fighting, supermodels, beautiful locations and elaborate spectacle.'
Don't think he saw our last show.
Quote: Stuart Macfarlane @ March 14 2011, 8:54 PM GMTNo - but one involved death by 'Awkwardly swallowing a train and having it stick in the throat.' This avoids the need for any awkward scenery - so sort of 'death on a budget'.
Aggghhh why did I not think of that?
Quote: simon wright @ March 14 2011, 9:12 PM GMTContains scenes like crashing cars, running from explosions, fist fighting, supermodels, beautiful locations and elaborate spectacle.'
Call me a cynic, but I have a slight suspicion that that writer of that particular script might not have read the rules as fully as they could have.
Just a hunch, don't crucify me with it or anything.
I had someone get run over in one of mine. I thought it would be a little awkward to stage but still very do-able (?) as long as the audience get the idea of what's going on.
Do I lose points for that? Or is that still within the boundaries?
Quote: Griff @ March 14 2011, 2:06 PM GMTBasically Aaron and Jack Massey.
He has eyes everywhere...
*squints a bit*
Quote: abfc bjk @ March 14 2011, 9:17 PM GMTI had someone get run over in one of mine. I thought it would be a little awkward to stage but still very do-able (?)
As long as they are run over by a pedestrian (preferrably in a fishfinger helmet) or possibly a train if you can borrow the one from the previous sitcom.
I'm too nervous to watch any more. Good luck everyone.
Quote: simon wright @ March 14 2011, 9:12 PM GMTI see your train carriage and raise you:
'The opening comes with the end of an intense montage depicting the two characters performing insane stunts and amazing feats; production value is high and the content very flashy.
Contains scenes like crashing cars, running from explosions, fist fighting, supermodels, beautiful locations and elaborate spectacle.'
Don't think he saw our last show.
That is a thing of beauty.
Oh, er, I'm not really here.