Hi Dan.
Hope you've got 10p on you, cos I'm giving it another listen
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Quote: Steve Sunshine @ March 12 2011, 1:14 AM GMTHi Dan.
Hope you've got 10p on you, cos I'm giving it another listen
Hello Steve 
and of course I have thank you for listening, let's make a real difference
Hope you enjoy it as well that is also important
Dan
I had a listen to it all the way through. I think you should trim it down to three minutes or so to really punch it up. It's not a radio piece so length isn't really an issue. It would work better for what you are doing in a shorter form I reckon. Best of luck with it meanwhile.
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ March 11 2011, 6:26 PM GMTGood stuff in here - fast-paced, off-beat and amusing. Nice one! (PS Ever seen Hardwicke House?)
Thank you Mike. Off-beat is a very nice way of describing it, I like that. Yes I have seen Hardwick House. Roy Kinnear's last sitcom I believe.
Quote: keewik @ March 10 2011, 7:05 PM GMTDitto. It also sounded like one voice all the time which was a bit of a turn-off. Sorry, but I rapidly lost interest.
This.
Quote: James Cotter @ March 11 2011, 1:35 PM GMTI'm not trying to hard on the accent at all for me that voice is one the easiest voices for me to do and I have been doing for around two years so it's not like a new and difficult voice to do.
Exactly my point no one but a few on here have a properly with the voice. I really think it is not a problem. No one had a problem with it before so I don't know what the problem is now. I'm really perplexed by this I thought there might be comments made on other areas but not Mark's voice.
It's not a great accent. The vowels are all over the place. It sounds anything but natural to be honest.
Quote: Steve Sunshine @ March 11 2011, 7:08 PM GMTI did have another listen James
Kerching! One cup of fresh waterAn although this isn't Critique I do have to agree with some of the less complimentary points already made.
The Cockney accent was a fair effort if a bit Caricatured but I don't think you could call it convincing there were enough wrong vowel sounds to give it away.
With the scripted nature of this the acting did seem to suffer.
It wasn't a bad performance but it wasn't that great either.
Nuances & timing were a bit off the mark on quite a few occasions.I did like the Lesley Ash joke & I'm sure when I have a third listen I'll spot some other decent lines.
But the Cricket wordplay stuff didn't work for me, I couldn't work out why it was happening & some of it seemed very laboured.
However I think with a tighten & a bit of clarity it could have been a silly but quite funny bit.I will Qualify the above by saying that I know you take this career very seriously otherwise I wouldn't even offer an opinion.
Nor would I if your stuff was terrible.And I seldom know what I'm talking about anyway
Keep up he good charity work & I will have another listen or two
Thanks. As you know I can actually do a cockney accent but I'm not trying to do a cockney accent with Mark it is more deliberately mockney.
I agree that it wasn't either of our finest performances though like you said not bad. We've both had two years away from these characters so it will take another episode I think to really get back into it although at times I think we hit the mark (pardon the pun!)
Glad you liked the Lesley Ash gag but a shame you didn't like the cricket wordplay. My attempts at writing jokes is still in the development stage although as a few people have noted we are trying to put more into the show taking onboard the feedback from before.
Quote: Rob H @ March 12 2011, 12:02 PM GMTIt's not a great accent. The vowels are all over the place. It sounds anything but natural to be honest.
The vowels are all over the place on purpose. Not everyone talks in a nice clear way and Mark certain doesn't and never will. I'm glad I've not played him drunk yet then you really wouldn't like it. I could quite easily do yet another normal cockney accent but why should I do that when I can do something which either negatively or not has stood out.
Quote: James Cotter @ March 12 2011, 12:11 PM GMTI could quite easily do yet another normal cockney accent
Really? 
Quote: James Cotter @ March 12 2011, 12:11 PM GMTThe vowels are all over the place on purpose. Not everyone talks in a nice clear way and Mark certain doesn't and never will. I'm glad I've not played him drunk yet then you really wouldn't like it. I could quite easily do yet another normal cockney accent but why should I do that when I can do something which either negatively or not has stood out.
Are you sure you are not studying for a law degree James?
Quote: Marc P @ March 12 2011, 12:17 PM GMTAre you sure you are not studying for a law degree James?
Why?
Quote: Rob H @ March 12 2011, 12:15 PM GMTReally?
What do you think? 
Quote: James Cotter @ March 12 2011, 12:20 PM GMTWhy?
Because as closing arguments for the defence go, that one was a doozey!
Quote: James Cotter @ March 12 2011, 12:20 PM GMTWhat do you think?
I think my last comment was a bit mean spirited, and I would like to rescind it.
(But I do agree with Marc that saying you like the accent because it stands out as a bad thing -subjectively I know - is a bit..crackers)
Quote: Marc P @ March 12 2011, 12:28 PM GMTBecause as closing arguments for the defence go, that one was a doozey!
For a while I did want to become a lawyer but that was when I was about 12.
Why do you *want* your character to be hard for listeners to understand?
That doesn't make much sense!
Wanting him to be a mockney makes sense, but I think that, coupled with the gravelly voice makes it impenetrable. Maybe he could be a more Guy Ritchie/Jamie Oliver style mockney? Drop the gravelly growl, but keep the mockney?
Quote: Rob H @ March 12 2011, 12:32 PM GMTI think my last comment was a bit mean spirited, and I would like to rescind it.
(But I do agree with Marc that saying you like the accent because it stands out as a bad thing -subjectively I know - is a bit..crackers)
Well I agree with that.
The only reason I'm getting defensive about the accent is I don't know how you can honestly judge it for a fictional character. If it was an impression then fair enough but I made the voice up from two different voices. I know a taxi driver who speaks in the way Mark does without the gruffness but he's more cheeky chap. The gruffness added to that voice makes Mark. I've never heard anyone speak like Mark with the gruffness so it is a unique voice which can only be judged against itself I.e. Previous episodes.
Quote: James Cotter @ March 12 2011, 1:18 PM GMTWell I agree with that.The only reason I'm getting defensive about the accent is I don't know how you can honestly judge it for a fictional character.
That's what audiences do I am afraid James.