Quote: David Bussell @ March 11 2011, 2:14 PM GMTI'll do my best, but promise not to make me look like a fool. If you renege on your word we both take a big hit on this.
Hang on... let me deconstruct this sequence of thoughts! 
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Quote: Marc P @ March 11 2011, 2:19 PM GMTHang on... let me deconstruct this sequence of thoughts!
It's about integrity, Marc!
Quote: sootyj @ March 10 2011, 8:20 PM GMTMuch improved on the video version. There's some real gags in there and pretty good ones. I quite liked the description of the failed school trip.
I think I'd give the characters a bit less exposition it's not neccesary. And you can rely abit more on the situ for comedy.
But this is well on it's way.
Sorry just spotted this comment. Thank you. Yes I know we've actually do some actually gags I can't believe it myself as you know I do normal do joke jokes but I think we've got a few decent ones in here. Glad you liked the description of the trip just another example of how bad a lecturer Mark is.
Quote: David Bussell @ March 11 2011, 2:21 PM GMTIt's about integrity, Marc!
Damn but you're in the wrong business nowadays David. 
Quote: Marc P @ March 11 2011, 2:41 PM GMTDamn but you're in the wrong business nowadays David.
I'm affecting a change.
Thought I'd have a listen to see what all of the fuss was about.
Accent wasn't terrible, but is obviously put on as it sounds like someone doing an impression of a cockney stereotype, like Zooo says. Some of it is genuinely difficult to understand, maybe 20% of the cockney talk.
FX too loud in first scene, especially the near deafening phone ring. Second character comes into the first scene WAY too loud. 2nd character acting in scene one is REALLY distracting because he comes in really quiet (compared to cockney) and it sounds like it's being read off the page for the first time.
Scene 2 levels fine, easy to follow.
Scene 3 b/g FX too loud, and again character 2 too quiet. Characters aren't the same volume level which makes it a bit uneaven to follow.
I think the thing that is most jarring is that one character speaks normally and another is speaking like someone taking the mick out of an eastenders character. It just doesn't equate to realism and believability.
I do have to say though James, that although your accent is a little on the hammy side, you do act is really well.
Forget all that, Wicks, why haven't you posted a link to it on Face Book yet? Do you hate charity that much?
Quote: James Cotter @ March 11 2011, 2:18 PM GMTHe then was offered a live line when Exeter College hired him as a associated lecturer in the media department because of his TV experience.
What's a live line? That thing at the end of Jaws 2?
I do rather like the character's CV, by the way.
Quote: Nat Wicks @ March 11 2011, 4:13 PM GMTThought I'd have a listen to see what all of the fuss was about.
Accent wasn't terrible, but is obviously put on as it sounds like someone doing an impression of a cockney stereotype, like Zooo says. Some of it is genuinely difficult to understand, maybe 20% of the cockney talk.
FX too loud in first scene, especially the near deafening phone ring. Second character comes into the first scene WAY too loud. 2nd character acting in scene one is REALLY distracting because he comes in really quiet (compared to cockney) and it sounds like it's being read off the page for the first time.
Scene 2 levels fine, easy to follow.
Scene 3 b/g FX too loud, and again character 2 too quiet. Characters aren't the same volume level which makes it a bit uneaven to follow.
I think the thing that is most jarring is that one character speaks normally and another is speaking like someone taking the mick out of an eastenders character. It just doesn't equate to realism and believability.
I do have to say though James, that although your accent is a little on the hammy side, you do act is really well.
Okay I can see why you think it sounds put on it is a lot more so then other cockney characters I play. I think Mark has properly picked up the accent thus the reason for him sounding put on. I don't know though. I don't deliberately try to do anything with it it's just the way it's been from the start. FX too loud I'll agree with you on that but the phone call is meant to be loud seeing it is a phone call but perhaps I'm being too defensive. I agree Dan is more quieter but it is stereo effect as Keith approaches Mark from a distance same with later scenes when Mark is coming through the right speaker more then Keith who coming through the left. Not the first time I've been accused of being hammy! Too much theatre work recently it's made me even more hammy. Glad you liked the acting if not the accent. One out of two ain't bad. Thanks Nat
Quote: Chopz @ March 11 2011, 4:23 PM GMTWhat's a live line? That thing at the end of Jaws 2?
Meant to be life line.
Quote: zooo @ March 11 2011, 4:28 PM GMTI do rather like the character's CV, by the way.
Thank you.
Bussell how do you feel about dressing up as a clown and smoking a Camberwell Carrot?
Quote: David Bussell @ March 11 2011, 2:14 PM GMTI'll do my best, but promise not to make me look like a fool. If take a big hit on this.
Quote: sootyj @ March 11 2011, 5:10 PM GMTBussell how do you feel about dressing up as a clown and smoking a Camberwell Carrot?
"Change down, man. Find your neutral space. You gotta rush. It'll pass. Be seated."
Good stuff in here - fast-paced, off-beat and amusing. Nice one! (PS Ever seen Hardwicke House?)
I did have another listen James
Kerching! One cup of fresh water
An although this isn't Critique I do have to agree with some of the less complimentary points already made.
The Cockney accent was a fair effort if a bit Caricatured but I don't think you could call it convincing there were enough wrong vowel sounds to give it away.
With the scripted nature of this the acting did seem to suffer.
It wasn't a bad performance but it wasn't that great either.
Nuances & timing were a bit off the mark on quite a few occasions.
I did like the Lesley Ash joke & I'm sure when I have a third listen I'll spot some other decent lines.
But the Cricket wordplay stuff didn't work for me, I couldn't work out why it was happening & some of it seemed very laboured.
However I think with a tighten & a bit of clarity it could have been a silly but quite funny bit.
I will Qualify the above by saying that I know you take this career very seriously otherwise I wouldn't even offer an opinion.
Nor would I if your stuff was terrible.
And I seldom know what I'm talking about anyway
Keep up he good charity work & I will have another listen or two
Hello ladies and gentlemen thank you for all of your support and feedback. I have read through all of your comments and I understand each and every single one of them. I appreciate that some of you think that Mark's voice isn't right but I think that it adds to him as a character and it makes him amusing as well. As for comparisons to Phil Mitchell I think that the comparison stops at they are from London to be honest. Mark is a brilliant character and I am sure that after a few more episodes which will be coming very soon you will grow to love him as a character. I still don't think that Keith is getting the recognition he deserves either, again he is a fantastic character and I feel as if we are making great strides with Keith and Mark. I think that through reading most of your comments most of you enjoyed the comedy and the episode so thank you ever so much for that and I for one cannot wait to get more of our material out there for you all to enjoy thank you for every comment, we take all feedback on board from every one of you so thank you and I am with James, let's go viral on this, get us on the BBC on Friday night for Comic Relief?! Now that is a challenge for all of you... Make it happen my friends. Now I am off for a skinny latte
Thanks again
Dan