British Comedy Guide

job centre sitcom (a bit more)

MAUREEN APPEARS TO CALL A PERSON OVER TO SIGN.
MAUREEN
MR Appleby!, MR Appelby please!
A SMALL MAN ABOUT 4 FEET 2 (APPEARS TO BE A DWARF) WALKS OVER.
MAUREEN (CONT'D)
Please take a seat sir.
MR APPLEBY
Ok thanks
MAUREEN
So what have you been doing to look for work since we last saw you?
MR APPLEBY
Well I had an interview actually. (Smile on face).
MAUREEN
Oh really!, What doing
MR APPLEBY
Working at the circus.
MAUREEN
(Look of excitement) Wow I used to love it when I was a kid watching the little guys being chased around doing flips and wearing silly costumes.
MR APPLEBY
(Looking rather annoyed) Piccadilly circus in London as a street cleaner actually!.
MAUREEN
(Look of shock) Oh Erm!...
MR APPLEBY SIGNS THE FORM AND LEAVES STILL ANNOYED.
HEAD SHOT OF SECURITY GUARD (CLIVE) AT FRONT HELP DESK (APPEARS TO BE DOING NOTHING).
CLIVE
(TALKING TO CAMERA). Yeah, you do get some people kicking off sometimes and that's when my training comes in.
CAMERAMAN
What training?
CLIVE
(Awkwardly demonstrates poor martial arts skills and falls over). AGH!. Yeah they wouldn't mess with me. (As if oblivious to his mess, and still sure of himself)
CLIVE BRUSHES HIMSELF OFF AND WALKS OVER TO HELP DISABLED WOMAN.
CLIVE (CONT'D)
Alright love?
DISABLED WOMAN
(Angrily) F**k off!
CLIVE WALKS OFF WHISTLING TO HIMSELF.
NOW WE SEE A CLOSE UP HEAD SHOT OF MAUREEN THE GENERAL DOGS BODY OF IAN MORGAN.
MAUREEN
(Looks at camera, appearing to answer question).(Appears slightly angry) No I'm not!, How dare you say I'm a pushover. I do my own thing.
IAN APPEARS TO CALL MAUREEN
IAN
Maureen!
MAUREEN RUSHES VERY QUICKLY OVER TO IAN
MAUREEN
Yes Mr morgan sir!
INT. IAN'S PERSONAL OFFICE, BY IAN'S CHAIR IS A YOUNG MAN OF 19(DARREN) LOOKING SMART WITH GELLED BLACK HAIR AND AN EAR RING, IS ABOUT 6 FEET TALL, SLIGHTLY SPOTTY.
IAN
Maureen!, Take a seat please!
MAUREEN
Thanks sir
IAN
I want you to show Darren around today, he's our new trainee. I want you to answer his questions and then ask him yours, I don't care what they are. You can ask him what questions you like, ask him what he ate last night or ask him who he f**ked. (Looks at darren expecting a laugh or an aknowledgment but to no avail, also laughs himself for a second before stopping) .Ahem!
IAN (CONT'D)
...so!. Okay bye!
MAUREEN
(Enthusiastically!) Yes sir, right away sir.
MAUREEN LEAVES OFFICE DRAGGING DARREN BY THE ARM
MAUREEN (CONT'D)
Come on Darren!
DARREN
So what's it like here?

Kind of came unstuck again, hope you can help :)

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