British Comedy Guide

Happy Birthday Chipolata!!! Page 7

Cheers again, everyone (f**k me, it's hard work thanking every one all the time!)

Quote: Nat Wicks @ March 8 2011, 11:51 AM GMT

Please stop trying to kill me.

As my dreams slowly turn to dust, and I march inexorably closer to death, I need achievable goals, Wicks.

;)

Quote: Lee Henman @ March 8 2011, 3:43 PM GMT

Happy birthday sausage.

Image
Mmmm. They are quite sexy... ;)

Is that a real animal? Or a photoshopped one?

Quote: Lee Henman @ March 8 2011, 3:48 PM GMT

I'd pan his cake.

And squirt your juice all over as well?

Quote: chipolata @ March 8 2011, 3:52 PM GMT

Cheers again, everyone (f**k me, it's hard work thanking every one all the time!)

As my dreams slowly turn to dust, and I march inexorably closer to death, I need achievable goals, Wicks.

;)

:(

Happy Birthday Chip

Quote: chipolata @ March 8 2011, 3:52 PM GMT

Cheers again, everyone (f**k me, it's hard work thanking every one all the time!)

As my dreams slowly turn to dust, and I march inexorably closer to death, I need achievable goals, Wicks.

;)

Is that a real animal? Or a photoshopped one?

It's a shrew. I'd tame it!

Quote: Lee Henman @ March 8 2011, 3:48 PM GMT

By the way it was my birthday last week. But I'll have two if you like - after all some say I am an old Queen.

Quote: chipolata @ March 8 2010, 10:08 AM GMT

I'm literally too choked up at the moment to speak! Although about bloody time, I've only been a member since 2006!!! :D

Oh, and Happy Birthday to fellow BCGer and fellow Piscean Lee Henman, whose birthday it is also today.

Hey Henman, how come your birthday was today last year:

Option 1: You are a mong who doesn't know his own birthday
Option 2: Chip is a mong.

vote now.....

Quote: Will Cam @ March 8 2011, 6:09 PM GMT

Hey Henman, how come your birthday was today last year:

Option 1: You are a mong who doesn't know his own birthday
Option 2: Chip is a mong.

vote now.....

I always thought me, Henman and Gyles Brandreth shared a birthday!
Like Lord Sugar, my search goes on to find a third March 8ther...

Chip - I can only apologise for missing your birthday. Since we got together, our relationship has been so special and I haven't minded sharing you with the cats or satsumas as I know deep down you love me and I love you. Forever we shall be together and I know my work has taken up a lot of my time, I know me coming home and getting into bed and pressing my boobs up against you everyday means more to you than one day where you may or may not be getting older. I still think you look amazing, and gorgeous and I forever will be your EllieJP.

Quote: EllieJP @ March 8 2011, 10:44 PM GMT

me coming home and getting into bed and pressing my boobs up against you

o/ It's my birthday too!!! Whistling nnocently

Happy birthday

To the Man called Chip
Old enough for a new hip?
Lightning with a quip
He's so cool he's quite
a c**t.

Chip had a birthday
Wanted to play footy
his mum said he had to
invite a kid called Sootyj

Sootyj, Sootyj, gave the ball a kick
Sootyj, Sootyj, gave his balls a lick
Sootyj, Sootyj, does it all the time
Sootyj, Sootyj, likes to finish a rhyme with a word that doesn't, like 'Twat' or his favourite 'C**t'

**repeat chorus, fade to end**

Happy birthday, Chip! Wave

(Belated) Happy Birthday, Chip. :)

One stop further along the great train journey that we call Life... Oh, and look! A not-unattractive blonde girl with a slightly lazy eye (but sporting an impressive cleavage) has just boarded and sat opposite you. She's not looked up at you yet, but if you concentrate and use those telepathic powers...???

Quote: Will Cam @ March 8 2011, 11:08 PM GMT

Chip had a birthday
Wanted to play footy
his mum said he had to
invite a kid called Sootyj

Sootyj, Sootyj, gave the ball a kick
Sootyj, Sootyj, gave his balls a lick
Sootyj, Sootyj, does it all the time
Sootyj, Sootyj, likes to finish a rhyme with a word that doesn't, like 'Twat' or his favourite 'C**t'

**repeat chorus, fade to end**

Oh c'mon Dodd's been doing the same jokes at least 10 years after his execution for tax evasion.

Quote: EllieJP @ March 8 2011, 10:44 PM GMT

Chip - I can only apologise for missing your birthday. Since we got together, our relationship has been so special and I haven't minded sharing you with the cats or satsumas as I know deep down you love me and I love you. Forever we shall be together and I know my work has taken up a lot of my time, I know me coming home and getting into bed and pressing my boobs up against you everyday means more to you than one day where you may or may not be getting older. I still think you look amazing, and gorgeous and I forever will be your EllieJP.

:D

At least you didn't have to be prompted to say happy birthday by a fellow BCGer, Ellie. Whistling nnocently

Quote: Tim Walker @ March 9 2011, 7:30 AM GMT

(Belated) Happy Birthday, Chip. :)

One stop further along the great train journey that we call Life... Oh, and look! A not-unattractive blonde girl with a slightly lazy eye (but sporting an impressive cleavage) has just boarded and sat opposite you. She's not looked up at you yet, but if you concentrate and use those telepathic powers...???

:D

Mad unblinking staring usually does the trick just as well.

Quote: Will Cam @ March 8 2011, 11:08 PM GMT

Chip had a birthday
Wanted to play footy
his mum said he had to
invite a kid called Sootyj

Sootyj, Sootyj, gave the ball a kick
Sootyj, Sootyj, gave his balls a lick
Sootyj, Sootyj, does it all the time
Sootyj, Sootyj, likes to finish a rhyme with a word that doesn't, like 'Twat' or his favourite 'C**t'

**repeat chorus, fade to end**

It's like the East Coast-West Coast Hip Hop wars between you and Sooty. I just hope it doesn't end in a BCG drive-by.

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