My Charlie Sheen thingy, rejected rather earlier than usual.
Dan
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ONE AND A HALF MEN
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MILES:
The hit US sitcom 'Two And A Half Men' was taken off air this week, when the star Charlie Sheen lambasted the show's creator whilst his head was so far up his own bottom it actually looked like his head. A similar situation also occurred here. On the line now, we are privileged to have the star of the hilarious UK sitcom 'One And A Half Men'. Welcome, Nick Clegg!
NICK:
(D) You know, what, Miles? The creators of this show would be nothing -- NOTHING! -- without me!
MILES:
But who, exactly, are the creators?
NICK:
(D) Well, the stupid little people of course!
MILES:
You mean, the British public?!
NICK:
(D) It was their casting! I violently hate them! I've turned their tin can votes into solid gold power!
MILES:
But what about your pledges for the Lib Dems?
NICK:
(D) I tell you what, Miles, the Lib Dems are nothing but a bootleg cult! I have a disease?! I cured it... with my *mind*! And a complete about-face on just about every wishy-washy policy...
MILES:
Oh, hang on Nick... yes... I'm just hearing that your show's been pulled. Effective immediately.
NICK:
(D) What?! Cancelled?
MILES:
Yes, Nick. Completely canned.
NICK:
(D) (VERGE OF TEARS) Don't make me be cancelled. Please. I'll start wearing yellow ties again, I promise! (BLUBS)
END
