British Comedy Guide

In The Den

SC1. INT - THE DRAGONS' DEN - DAY

EVAN (VO):
Next into the den is Lefty Lawrence. Can he get the dragons to part with their cash?

LEFTY COMES UP THE STAIRS CARRYING A BAG. HE TAKES A MOMENT TO SET UP.

LEFTY:
Hi I'm Lefty and in return for all the money sitting here today I'm offering equity of zero percent in my company.

THE DRAGONS LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND SMILE. THEY'RE CONFUSED ABOUT WHAT'S HAPPENING

LEFTY:
Let me explain.

HE OPENS THE BAG AND REVEALS A SAWN-OFF SHOTGUN. HE POINTS IT AT THE DRAGONS.

LEFTY:
Right suckers! Just put the money in the bag and nobody'll get hurt. Come on!

LEFTY GOES TO EACH DRAGON IN TURN AND SWEEPS ALL THE MONEY OFF THEIR TABLE INTO HIS BAG.

LEFTY:
Laverly! Har har!

WHEN HE'S FINISHED HE STANDS AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRS.

LEFTY:
Let me give you all a piece of advice for free. In business trust nobody. It's dog eat dog out there.

HE THEN LEGS IT DOWN THE STAIRS AND WHEN HE REACHES THE BOTTOM STILL TOTING THE GUN, HE POINTS IT AT EVAN WHO JUMPS THROUGH A WINDOW.

SC 2. EXT - DRAGONS' DEN - DAY

LEFTY EXITS THE DEN AND RUNS TO A WAITING SPORTS CAR. HE THROWS THE BAG ONTO THE BACK SEAT AND JUMPS INTO THE PASSENGER SEAT.

LEFTY:
Ok George! Get a wiggle on son!

THE CAR SPEEDS OFF BURNING RUBBER AND SCREECHING AS IT GOES. IT SMASHES THROUGH A PILE OF EMPTY CARDBOARD BOXES AND DISAPPEARS INTO THE DISTANCE.

EVAN (OS)
F**k me! Did you see that!?

END:

I really liked that, however, I probably would've ended it at the point when he takes the gun out because, for me, that is the punch line. Really good though! Q!

Nice twist on the programme, but I think I would want to go back to the den have them say something like 'Good presentation, pro-active, good business plan. Well worth the investment'

I like it, alot.

I sort of agree with Quentin

However i think the line

EVAN (OS)
F**k me! Did you see that!?

Needs retaining.

Perhaps when Lefty legs it down the stairs instead of Evan jumping through a window he could say that line.

Any chance Duncan Bannatyne could shit himself?

Off Topic:

Is it just me or would anyone else like to get down and dirty with Debs Meaden and feel the wrath of her Dragons Den?

Quote: roscoff @ December 14, 2007, 3:07 PM

I think I would want to go back to the den have them say something like 'Good presentation, pro-active, good business plan.

That's way I would have taken it but even so, it was a very nice take.

Quote: martin jones @ December 14, 2007, 3:12 PM

Is it just me or would anyone else like to get down and dirty with Debs Meaden and feel the wrath of her Dragons Den?

Confidentially, Martin, I think you've got issues and for that reason I'm out.

Very funny. Laughed when he whipped the gun out. Liked the rest of it too, though, thought it was a nice lead-up to the last line.

Also liked the suggested line for one of the Dragons (I'm thinking Duncan Bannatyne!) though unsure how it would fit in. Again, maybe just as an end-credit skit, in this land of dreams. Maybe not.

Quote: martin jones @ December 14, 2007, 3:12 PM

Is it just me or would anyone else like to get down and dirty with Debs Meaden and feel the wrath of her Dragons Den?

Yes. Just you. Sick

Good one Blenkinsop. I look forward to seeing the 'where are they now' aspect if this was ever done.

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