The Babysitter Sketch

SCENE 1. INT. LOUNGE - NIGHT

FEMALE PARENT AND BABYSITTER ARE STOOD IN THE LOUNGE. FEMALE PARENT IS IN THE MIDDLE OF EXPLAINING TO THE BABYSITTER.

FEMALE PARENT:
Right there is food in the fridge, we have ham, eggs, bacon, yogurts, help yourself. Crisps in the cupboard. And toffees. Tommy’s in bed so he wont be much problem.

FEMALE PARENT PICKS UP A REMOTE CONTROL OFF THE COFFEE TABLE.

FEMALE PARENT:
This one’s the sky remote, don’t have it too loud or you’ll wake him. And I (PAUSE) I think that’s it. Any questions?

BABYSITTER:
Ummm, yeah. Uh. Can I. Ummm. Touch your kid?

FEMALE PARENT:
What?

BABYSITTER:
Can I touch your kid?

FEMALE PARENT:
Wh (PAUSE) Where?

BABYSITTER:
Off the top of my head? I dunno. Pfff. Crotch?

FEMALE PARENT:
What? No. God no. Why do you (PAUSE) do you do that?

BABYSITTER:
Mmm?

FEMALE PARENT:
Do you touch children’s crotches?

BABYSITTER CANNOT LOOK FEMALE PARENT IN THE FACE.

BABYSITTER:
Nahhh.

FEMALE PARENT: (UNSURE)
Right.

BABYSITTER:
Where did you say the, ummm, crisps were?

END OF SKETCH

Great sketch. I like the squirm factor.

I laughed.

So, is the babysitter a girl or a boy? Or doesn't it matter.
I imagined it as a girl, which I think is funnier.

Hi, Charles, I just read your profile
I've tried to crit and then deleated about 10 times on this one.
Well written and made me kinda grin inside - which made me annoyed!
You've presented an interesting challenge for me. Does anything go if you do it well? I hope so, mate. But my little voice was still f**ked off with me for it.

I think that this is an interesting subject for a discussion thread. Does anything go? Would you mind if I created one?

Back to the writing. Very good stuff. I think your clever even if I don't like this subject!! Oh, and the glass is definitely half full - at the very least.

I enjoyed it. Kind of like the Little Britain babysitter sketch but more full on. Incidentally, Scene 1? Is this part of a larger whole?

Yeah, I think the subject matters a bit iffy, and it kind of petered out. There was just the shock factor thing, didn't really work for me.

The subject matter was a bit too close to the edge for me perhaps, but, it was well written I thought and the squirm factor was definatly a good thing. I can see it working but splitting the audience. Nice one! Q!

No no no, anything goes, anything... very funny. I laughed.

I liked it too... small niggle I had was the pauses, I don't think they were needed that much.

But despite that it twas a good sketch!

I agree, Paul. I think on paper "..." would work a lot better. But I have been told "(PAUSE)" is common practice. Thanks for all the kind words, don't worry about saying anything bad, my sense of denial is so strong I fail to intergrate them into my understanding.

Peace out.

I laughed out loud, which is good sign. I liked it. I must be in a good mood, thats two great sketches I've read in a row!