British Comedy Guide

Busted.

Since I'm rather slow on the uptake I don't normally write topical comedy Teary
So, I am pleased to present you with a little something that I prepared earlier.

BUSTED.

EXT. DAY. PARK.

A GROUP OF POLICE MEN ARE HUNCHED IN A BUSH. THEY TALK IN WHISPERS AND ARE WATCHING TWO SHIFTY CHARACTERS (SELLER AND BUYER) DOING A DEAL.

POLICEMAN 1. (listening to the deal using headphones) He’s just handing him the bag, Gov. The cash has been exchanged.

YOU SEE THE SELLER HAND A PACKAGE TO BUYER WHO PASSES A BAG ACROSS. THEY BOTH CHECK THE CONTENTS.

GOV. (looking pleased with himself) Right, people, get ready to move.

POLICEMAN. 2. (puts hand to ear and listens carefully to message in earpiece) Hang on.

EVERYONE PAUSES IN ANTICIPATION.

POLICEMAN.1 What’s up Sarge?

POLICEMAN 2. (stands up, stops whispering) Ok, that’s it, we’re on strike.

POLICEMAN 2 BEGINS TO WALK OUT FROM BUSHES.

POLICEMAN 2. (cont) Everyone out. We’re officially on strike.

SUDDENLY THE BUSHES BEGIN TO MOVE ABOUT. THEY ARE POLICEMEN IN DISGUISE. PASSERS BY AND DOGS START TO DOWN TOOLS AND YOU REALISE THAT THEY ARE ALL POLICE OFFICERS UNDERCOVER.

SELLER. What’s going on?

BUYER. Looks like we’re on strike, I’m afraid. (holds the bag of drugs up)

SELLER. You a copper?

BUYER. Afraid so. (looks slightly embarrassed)

SELLER. And the union have called a strike? (looks at the money)

BUYER. (listens to a message in his earpiece) Apparently one of our officers was called a pig, which, obviously would cause him distress and they have refused to allow him to see a support worker and councillor.

SELLER. (looks socked) F**king disgusting! (listens to earpiece) Ok, everybody, one out, all out.

SUDDENLY THE REST OF THE BUSHES AND EVERYBODY ELSE IN THE PARK STOPS AND IT IS OBVIOUS THAT EVERYONE IN THE PARK IS A COPPER. A BEWILDERED YOUNG GUY WANDERS AROUND WITH A DOG.

BUYER. Are you a copper, too.

SELLER. Yeah.

LAD WITH DOG WALKS PAST A COPPER DISGUISED AS A BUSH. DOG COCKS LEG UP BUSH/COPPER.

BUSH/COPPER. (to dog) You’re nicked.

DOG. Scab.

If only there were that many bobbies on the beat! In that sense it isn't topical at all!

It reminds me of something which I can't quite put my finger on.

I think it needs another twist. Like, I don't know...

Maybe...
BUYER:
Are you a copper, too?

SELLER:
Yeah.

BUYER:
Ha! So this is just sherbet!? (GRABS A HANDFUL AND SNIFFS IT, LICKS HIS HAND)

SELLER:
No, that's still the real thing.

DOG:
I'd call for an ambulance, but they're on strike too.

Quote: James Williams @ December 13, 2007, 2:06 PM

If only there were that many bobbies on the beat! In that sense it isn't topical at all!

It reminds me of something which I can't quite put my finger on.

I think it needs another twist. Like, I don't know...

Maybe...
BUYER:
Are you a copper, too?

SELLER:
Yeah.

BUYER:
Ha! So this is just sherbet!? (GRABS A HANDFUL AND SNIFFS IT, LICKS HIS HAND)

SELLER:
No, that's still the real thing.

DOG:
I'd call for an ambulance, but they're on strike too.

Oops, didn't mean to post that.
If you don't think that many cops exist for such things then look on youtube, put in something like 'police raid on animal sanctuary'.
They were like flies. No arrests - naturally!!!!!!!!!!

I think that's really funny. Nice one.

Quote: jdubya @ December 13, 2007, 2:23 PM

I think that's really funny. Nice one.

:P Bless'n ta for that. Did you look on youtube? Gawd bless 'em. Never seen so many coppers in me life for nothing.

I thought it was good and James's comments just changed the feel.

I did think maybe it was a bit long but as it's describing action it would probably be more instantaeous than it appears on the page/screen.

I liked the scab bit too.

Nice work. I agree with David C. I can see this one coming alive nicely on screen.

I think it's a great sketch Marion though you'd need a big budget to get it produced well! But it would be worth it!
Fx

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