Consumered

8.30pm EXT/INT. IN CAR

LATE 30’S COUPLE NICK AND JULIETTE ARE SCOURING THE EMPTY STREETS FOR NICK’S DAD.

NICK
He’s got to be around here somewhere

JULIETTE
I thought you knew where the Horse and Jockey pub was?

NICK
So did I. This place is like the village of the damned

A SOLITARY FIGURE CAN BE SEEN WOBBLING IN THE DISTANCE, THEY HEAD TOWARDS HIM

JULIETTE
Is that him?

NICK
I don’t know, my eyes are terrible in the dark

JULIETTE
It’s got to be, I recognise the jacket (PAUSE) there’s not another soul about

NICK
(NERVOUSLY)
OK, if you’re sure

NICK FLOORS THE ACCELERATER,MOUNTS THE PAVEMENT AND HITS THE OLD GUFFER, HIS BODY SEEN SLIDING OVER THE WINDSCREEN.
THE CAR COMES TO A HALT. SILENCE

NICK
Oh god! oh god! oh god!

JULIETTE
We had to do it Nick, we had too

NICK
I know, I know, I know

JULIETTE
That thirty three thousand pound debt had to be paid off one way or another.
We can barely pay the mortgage. We’d of lost everything. It’s what he would of wanted

NICK
(TEARFUL)
Modern life is rubbish, two holidays, a new kitchen and your BMW X5. Paid for
in blood

IN THE DISTANCE A WOBBLY FIGURE CAN BE SEE MAKING HIS WAY TOWARDS THEM, WAVING
AS HE DOES SO.

NICK
Dad ?

JULIETTE
I know Nick I know

NICK
(EXITEDLY POINTING)
No. Look it's Dad!

SHE TURNS TO NICK WITH ALL THE COMPASSION OF A CYBERNETIC ORGANISM

JULIETTE
(WITH AUTHORITY)
You know what to do Nick

THE ENGINE CAN BE HEARD STARTING

THE END

Ha! I like it. You could have a series of sketches where they try to bump the old man off in a variety of back-firing ways.

Thanks James.

Yeah i did think there could be numerous possibilties, but that reminded me of 'a Fish Called Wanda' with Michael Palin trying to kill the old lady but getting her small dogs by accident.

Also I wanted this to be rather dark, don't know if i got that a cross too well?

I suppose it's a dig at the increasing number of people who will stop at nothing to try and live beyond their means in order to appear successful and therefore validate themselves as worthwhile and important.
Making this way of living socially acceptable results in the genuine, honest and ordinary being forced to conform or be regarded as a failure and impotent on every level.

Did it work I wonder?

Quote: martin jones @ December 12, 2007, 8:23 PM

SHE TURNS TO NICK WITH ALL THE COMPASSION OF A CYBERNETIC ORGANISM

View original

I hate it when they do that.

Yes, I liked it. The only way I can imagine this being darker is if you actually turns the lights off. But seriously, when I think of dark humour, I think of it as being relentless and unforgiving. So maybe at the end, you could actually run the dad over and then have then repeatedly go back n fourth over his body, making sure he's dead. But you would loose the classic "THE ENGINE CAN BE HEARD STARTING" joke.

Quote: Leevil @ December 13, 2007, 1:25 PM

I hate it when they do that.

Yes, I liked it. The only way I can imagine this being darker is if you actually turns the lights off. But seriously, when I think of dark humour, I think of it as being relentless and unforgiving. So maybe at the end, you could actually run the dad over and then have then repeatedly go back n fourth over his body, making sure he's dead. But you would loose the classic "THE ENGINE CAN BE HEARD STARTING" joke.

View original

If it was in a sketch show, you could have your cake and eat it by finishing the sketch as proposed, but showing the car reversing over the old fellah again and again in the end credits sequence. When it went to the black end board you could even finish with another punch-line.

Quote: James Williams @ December 13, 2007, 1:35 PM

If it was in a sketch show, you could have your cake and eat it by finishing the sketch as proposed, but showing the car reversing over the old fellah again and again in the end credits sequence. When it went to the black end board you could even finish with another punch-line.

View original

LEEVIL TURNS TO JAMES WITH ALL THE COMPASSION OF A CYBERNETIC ORGANISM:

Yes!

Thanks James, Thanks Leevil.

James solving the problem of incorporating Leevils reversing over the body sequence without the loosing the 'THE ENGINE CAN BE HEARD STARTING' by sticking it on at the end of the credits sequence.

I'm having that, with knobs on.

Cheers folks