Quote: Nat Wicks @ February 5 2011, 3:15 PM GMTIt isn't healthy to agree with yourself.
It's healthier than disagreeing with yourself.
Puns/one-liners Page 2
Haha yes I suppose you're right.
No you're not.
Yes you are.
I love a good pun, me.
One of my all-time favs (I've seen it attributed to both Tommy Cooper and Tim Vine but I'm not sure which of them wrote it.) goes something like this
Police arrested two youths yesterday. One for drinking battery acid and the other for stealing fireworks. They subsequently charged one and let the other off.
Or words to that effect.
Quote: Blenkinsop @ February 5 2011, 4:31 PM GMTI love a good pun, me.
One of my all-time favs (I've seen it attributed to both Tommy Cooper and Tim Vine but I'm not sure which of them wrote it.) goes something like this
Police arrested two youths yesterday. One for drinking battery acid and the other for stealing fireworks. They subsequently charged one and let the other off.
Or words to that effect.
Tommy Cooper-
I was in my car someone said could you give me a lift?
Sure you look great the world's your oyster.
Tim vine-
Farting in the lift- that's just wrong on so many levels
Bob Monkhouse-
They laughed when I said I wanted to be comedian, well they're not laughing now.
Julian and Sandy fall in the sea on a cruise.
Kenneth Horne- Were you dragged up on deck?
Kenneth Williams- No dear we wore casuals.
Quote: youngian @ February 8 2011, 1:15 PM GMTTommy Cooper-
I was in my car someone said could you give me a lift?
Sure you look great the world's your oyster.Tim vine-
Farting in the lift- that's just wrong on so many levels
The first one is a Tim Vine joke and the second is Stewart Francis if I'm not mistaken?
And again from RTH
'This is my horse. He's a palayorno'
'Don't you mean palamino?'
'Well, any palayorno is a palamino!'
or
'Howdy stranger, what brings you down to these parts?'
'I've got a lousy agent.'
Quote: Oldrocker @ February 8 2011, 2:33 PM GMTAnd again from RTH
'This is my horse. He's a palayorno'
'Don't you mean palamino?'
'Well, any palayorno is a palamino!'
or
'Howdy stranger, what brings you down to these parts?'
'I've got a lousy agent.'
That show has the contradictory ability to make you laugh and cringe in equally large quantities even on the same joke.
Two variants on a very old music hall oneliner-
My wife's gone to Indonesia
Jarkata?
No, she took a plane.
My wife and I are driving to Illinois
Chicago?
Yes we had it serviced last week.
Quote: youngian @ February 8 2011, 3:21 PM GMTThat show has the contradictory ability to make you laugh and cringe in equally large quantities even on the same joke.
Two variants on a very old music hall oneliner-
My wife's gone to Indonesia
Jarkata?
No, she took a plane.My wife and I are driving to Illinois
Chicago?
Yes we had it serviced last week.
My wife's gone abroad
Jamaica?
No, she went of her own accord.
My contribution to this "genre"...
My wife was killed by Basque Separatists.
ETA?
No, they blew her up.
Quote: Tony Cowards @ February 8 2011, 3:46 PM GMTMy contribution to this "genre"...
My wife was killed by Basque Separatists.
ETA?
No, they blew her up.
I once saw a party from Bilbao get stuck in a revolving door.
Hence the saying; 'Don't fit all your Basques in one exit'
ai a good pun is a comedy gen, a back flip in logic and it allows you to congratulate yourself for your knowledge too...a beautiful self contained snigger.
We lived in a grade two listed house, which was nice but obviously everyone had to be pretty good at the piano...Milton Jones.