Gags and puns - Shopping and home delivery

I had to fill out two order forms at the weekend and both of them exploded in my face... I called it chitty chitty bang bang!!!

I saw a man stealing some digestives in Tesco yesterday - he really takes the biscuit!

I saw two people standing next to the butter section in an aisle - just standing there..chewing the fat.

I had to slice a battenburg at the weekend..it was a piece of cake!

I saw a woman who dropped a few tins of Baxters Mulligatawny on her car at the weekend...it was all souped-up.

A man sucked a few pound coins up through his nostrils. When he was out shopping he realised he'd forgotten his card and was forced to pay through the nose.

please do share

Quote: lummycorks @ February 3 2011, 6:24 PM GMT

I had to fill out two order forms at the weekend and both of them exploded in my face... I called it chitty chitty bang bang!!!

I saw a man stealing some digestives in Tesco yesterday - he really takes the biscuit!

I saw two people standing next to the butter section in an aisle - just standing there..chewing the fat.

I had to slice a battenburg at the weekend..it was a piece of cake!

I saw a woman who dropped a few tins of Baxters Mulligatawny on her car at the weekend...it was all souped-up.

A man sucked a few pound coins up through his nostrils. When he was out shopping he realised he'd forgotten his card and was forced to pay through the nose.

please do share

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God I wish I was as funny as you

' Deliverance'

these are some really good ones. I like the one about chitty bang bang!/

what about this one.

i got a parcel from my Auntie Moira at the weekend. She lives in Canada and I haven't seen her for over ten years. She sent me a mug and a not saying, 'I wanna see Moira you!'

Quote: UltimateChips @ February 5 2011, 9:56 AM GMT

these are some really good ones. I like the one about chitty bang bang!/

what about this one.

i got a parcel from my Auntie Moira at the weekend. She lives in Canada and I haven't seen her for over ten years. She sent me a mug and a not saying, 'I wanna see Moira you!'

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Are you sure she didnt say 'you are a mug that's why I sent a not see you'.