INT. HORNBURGERS MANAGER'S OFFICE - DAY
AT FAST FOOD OUTLET, HORNBURGERS, RALPH THE MIDDLE AGED REGIONAL MANAGER IS DISCUSSING A STAFF ISSUE WITH YOUNG STORE MANAGER, DEAN.
REGIONAL MANAGER
So... Chris Peters.
DEAN
Yeah, look I know Chris has gone through a bit of a performance dip recently--
REGIONAL MANAGER
A dip? You call burning three dozen sesame seed baps a dip?
DEAN
He'd be the first one to hold up his hands and say it was a mistake. But we all make mistakes.
REGIONAL MANAGER
No. No, we don't all make mistakes. You think I became Hornburger's regional manager by making mistakes? Newsflash - I didn't. And it won't do your Hornburgers career any good accepting that kind of sloppiness. No, Chris Peters must be punished for his mistake.
DEAN
Punished?
REGIONAL MANAGER
Absolutely. Zero tolerance on mistakes.
DEAN
But--
REGIONAL MANAGER
No buts. It's the only way he'll understand. You must go down on him.
DEAN
I'm sorry?
REGIONAL MANAGER
Go down on him. Hard.
DEAN SNIGGERS
REGIONAL MANAGER
It's not pleasant, I know.
DEAN
You want me to... go down on Chris Peters?
REGIONAL MANAGER
Listen, in my time I've had to go down on many, many kids on many, many occasions. It's not something I relish but... they'll respect you for it in the long run.
DEAN
(STIFLES LAUGHTER) Really? You went down on a bunch of dudes?
REGIONAL MANAGER
Oh, I chewed them up, spat them out. I've had grown men in tears. But they learned not to make mistakes.
DEAN LAUGHS
REGIONAL MANAGER
Is this funny to you?
DEAN
Sorry, it's just you said "go down on him."
REGIONAL MANAGER
What?
DEAN
Instead of saying "come down on him" as in, like, telling them off, you said "go down on him" which means...
A FLICKER OF PANICKED REALISATION CROSSES THE REGIONAL MANAGER'S FACE
DEAN
I guess you just made a mistake.
THE REGIONAL MANAGER, JAW CLENCHED, SHAKES HIS HEAD.
DEAN
You didn't make a mistake?
REGIONAL MANAGER
I... did not.
DEAN
Are you sure you didn't mean--
REGIONAL MANAGER
I know exatly what I meant. I... went... down... on multiple men.
LONG PAUSE
DEAN
So you didn't just make a mistake and now you're too proud to admit it?
THE REGIONAL MANAGER SHAKES HIS HEAD GRIMLY.
DEAN
Well, it's clear Chris Peters has trouble accepting my authority so maybe you could take care of this one for me?
THE REGIONAL MANAGER SHRUGS
CUT TO -
THE REGIONAL MANAGER AND CHRIS PETERS EXIT THE OFFICE. CHRIS PETERS IS DOING UP HIS FLY WHILE THE REGIONAL MANAGER WIPES HIS SHIRT WITH A NAPKIN.
THEY BOTH SEEM SOMEWHAT SHELLSHOCKED AND STTRUGGLE TO LOOK AT EACH OTHER.
REGIONAL MANAGER
So, Chris... I hope you'll take all that on board and... let's hear no more about it.
THE REGIONAL MANAGER HOLDS OUT HIS HAND. CHRIS PETERS FLINCHES BEFORE SCURRYING OFF. THE REGIONAL MANAGER BELCHES SLIGHTLY AND SLINKS BACK INTO HIS OFFICE.
END.
A pun overdone.
I thought it was quite funny though.