British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 318

Do you like cute Pandas?

Quote: Will Cam @ January 31 2011, 2:11 PM GMT

No. I prefer the big scary ones who just hand out leaflets and insist if you say no.

You're a monster.

Quote: Tim Walker @ January 31 2011, 1:23 PM GMT

'Dave -800yrs'?

Everybody in England is called Dave I've noticed. My partners ex-husband, her daughters current boyfriend and her best friends partner. It's like Triggers the only registrar in the country.

Quote: roscoff @ January 31 2011, 3:03 PM GMT

Everybody in England is called Dave I've noticed. My partners ex-husband, her daughters current boyfriend and her best friends partner. It's like Triggers the only registrar in the country.

Roscoff or should I call you by your real name...Dave?

It's the same person

you dirty dog

See all the crimes reported in your area; http://www.police.uk/

Quote: DaButt @ January 31 2011, 12:29 PM GMT

Democracy is essentially unknown in the region.

Islam and democracy are uneasy bedfellows. That's one reason why it's slightly misguided to try and impose democracy on the region.

Why did the Egyptian thugs ride camels and dromedrays

so they could offer the protestors one thump or two

nowthat's what I call democracy

Quote: Nogget @ January 31 2011, 6:13 AM GMT

Southern Sudan might become a new country. What should it be called?

May the Southern should still be called Sudan and Northern Sudan should be called Nordan.

"desperately thinks . . is there a country called Muirdan they could twin with?"

Denis Nordan?

http://www.marketingweek.co.uk/sectors/food-and-drink/alcohol/there-is-method-in%E2%80%A6stella%E2%80%99s-cider-push/3023103.article

Stella are making cider?

Wives of Britain dig out those dark glasses.

Surely it would be (drum roll)

INTER STELLA CIDER!

I thang u

It actually looks sorta nice and is called Cidre.
Made from Jona Gold apples

Sounds like terminology from the porn industry.

Quote: Griff @ February 4 2011, 12:19 AM GMT

They do f**k about with the names of apples these days. I still can't get my head round jazz apples.

The drinks industry relies on such tactics to make us gullible folk pay far too much for what is ultimately just fermented fruit or grain. The funny thing is, tests show that we genuinely enjoy the product more if we believe all this crap.

:) I find 'diamond white' mixed with champagne very pallitable, one has to economise.

The Education Bill, to be debated in the Commons next week, also allows heads to delete data from the phones.

That bit sounds a bit iffy. But kids certainly don't need their phones in lessons. They should be handed in the morning, then collected before they leave.

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