Quote: Tuumble @ January 29 2011, 12:55 PM GMTI would suggest the ancient rule is "Eat Less"
That waist looks totally unnatural so I guess a corset helps.
General, General Thread Page 2,263
What also helps is getting a completely different person for the after photograph.
Quote: Tuumble @ January 29 2011, 12:56 AM GMTYou were in Peterborough and you didn't call me?
This is not the first time a BCGer as cruelly passed me by. Peterborough is clearly a comedy hotbed but I feel shunned and ignored. I shall now drown my sorrows in rice krispies and milk of magnesia...
I went to Peterborough to see Thomas the Tank Engine. The Fat Controller terrified my son.
Quote: Tim Walker @ January 28 2011, 9:39 PM GMTand don't get me started on the post office, I went in there the other day and there was a queue of people and only one counter serving, just one girl, honestly, I felt like saying something, it was lunchtime and only one person on
You have a Post Office?
Quote: Griff @ January 29 2011, 12:33 AM GMTYes. This is very annoying. Especially when all transactions now take a minimum of 15 minutes, the last 10 of which are you saying "no thank you" to their new range of space travel insurance cover etc.
You have a Post Office too? How lucky are you guys?
I have two post offices within 10 minutes of me. One has very rude bad attitude workers, the other one is much more friendlier. But yes, two! Plus more I bet a bit further away.
Quote: Tuumble @ January 29 2011, 12:55 PM GMTI would suggest the ancient rule is "Eat Less"
I followed the links from such an advert one upon a time. It was a load of total rubbish.
A few years ago, before I decided to try and start writing comedy, I used spend quite a lot of my free time writing songs and, on occasion playing a few pubs and clubs (mostly covers rather than my own stuff). Between 2003 and 2006, I also used to sit in my bedroom and record and arrange albums of my own demos, just using a few small decent bits of music kit and my PC. Anyway, I was doing a bit of a spring clean in the garage and came across some of the CDs I'd recorded.
Out of something like 50+ songs I seem to have recorded, I've bunged a few up on YouTube, for your amusement, distraction and derision. This is the sort of thing I used to get up to before I became a embittered comedy writer... I was an embittered songwriter instead...
Scared Of Your Own Heart http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Wghs4-Qwt0
Souvenir http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhREcpALVHs
Eighth Deadly Sin http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqWhutqKp5k
But Will We Survive? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6THElnAjDNQ
Nothing At All http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrQ9MzJCc_U
(Just bear in mind that I was still drinking in those days - Oh, and the the tracks aren't brilliantly-mastered, so will generally sound less terrible on headphones/larger speakers... 
)
Quote: Tim Walker @ January 29 2011, 10:02 PM GMTA few years ago, before I decided to try and start writing comedy, I used spend quite a lot of my free time writing songs and, on occasion playing a few pubs and clubs (mostly covers rather than my own stuff). Between 2003 and 2006, I also used to sit in my bedroom and record and arrange albums of my own demos, just using a few small decent bits of music kit and my PC. Anyway, I was doing a bit of a spring clean in the garage and came across some of the CDs I'd recorded.
Out of something like 50+ songs I seem to have recorded, I've bunged a few up on YouTube, for your amusement, distraction and derision. This is the sort of thing I used to get up to before I became a embittered comedy writer... I was an embittered songwriter instead...
Scared Of Your Own Heart http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Wghs4-Qwt0
Souvenir http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhREcpALVHs
Eighth Deadly Sin http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqWhutqKp5k
But Will We Survive? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6THElnAjDNQ
Nothing At All http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrQ9MzJCc_U
(Just bear in mind that I was still drinking in those days - Oh, and the the tracks aren't brilliantly-mastered, so will generally sound less terrible on headphones/larger speakers...
I haven't listened yet but surely this is deserving of it's own thread! 
Quote: Tim Walker @ January 29 2011, 10:02 PM GMT(Just bear in mind that I was still drinking in those days
I'm drinking now and I'm afraid to click the link!
Quote: Tim Walker @ January 29 2011, 10:02 PM GMTA few years ago, before I decided to try and start writing comedy, I used spend quite a lot of my free time writing songs and, on occasion playing a few pubs and clubs (mostly covers rather than my own stuff). Between 2003 and 2006, I also used to sit in my bedroom and record and arrange albums of my own demos, just using a few small decent bits of music kit and my PC. Anyway, I was doing a bit of a spring clean in the garage and came across some of the CDs I'd recorded.
Out of something like 50+ songs I seem to have recorded, I've bunged a few up on YouTube, for your amusement, distraction and derision. This is the sort of thing I used to get up to before I became a embittered comedy writer... I was an embittered songwriter instead...
Scared Of Your Own Heart http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Wghs4-Qwt0
Souvenir http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhREcpALVHs
Eighth Deadly Sin http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqWhutqKp5k
But Will We Survive? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6THElnAjDNQ
Nothing At All http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrQ9MzJCc_U
(Just bear in mind that I was still drinking in those days - Oh, and the the tracks aren't brilliantly-mastered, so will generally sound less terrible on headphones/larger speakers...
Hopefully you've gone on to better things.
Another round of A-Z with the kids tonight - this time we were doing animals. To get us started I did A for Aardvark to which my lad Charlie said, "There's no such animal as an Arm Fart!"
We got to E which again surprisingly caused problems so I gave the clue of, "It's big and grey". Charlie's answer was again somewhat surprising...
"A Bee!"
Quote: Tim Walker @ January 29 2011, 10:02 PM GMT
Scared Of Your Own Heart http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Wghs4-Qwt0
Enjoyed this one, Tim. 
Quote: Leevil @ January 29 2011, 10:40 PM GMTI haven't listened yet but surely this is deserving of it's own thread!
A quick search of the BCG suggests that they are already 4 threads too many relating to me... https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/search/?q=tim+walker&type=posts
Quote: don rushmore @ January 29 2011, 11:52 PM GMTEnjoyed this one, Tim.
Cheers, Don.
Your voice is deeper than I thought it would be, Tim. I was expecting Jimmy Sommerville and it was slightly Nick Cavey. But with less murder in the lyrics.
Quote: Tim Walker @ January 30 2011, 12:11 AM GMTA quick search of the BCG suggests that they are already 4 threads too many relating to me... https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/search/?q=tim+walker&type=posts
Only four? You're not getting people backs up enough. Go slagg off something like Mighty Boosh, that should do it.
Quote: Leevil @ January 30 2011, 12:21 AM GMTGo slagg off something like Mighty Boosh, that should do it.
But I like The Mighty Boosh! I think it's a sign of a decent society that money is spent on producing comedy made specifically for educationally subnormal pre-teens.
Quote: chipolata @ January 30 2011, 12:19 AM GMTYour voice is deeper than I thought it would be, Tim. I was expecting Jimmy Sommerville and it was slightly Nick Cavey. But with less murder in the lyrics.
I'm saving all that kind of material for my rock concept album about the life, work and eventual crucifixion of Tim Dawson.