Job puns Page 3

I devise dance routines.

You should work in the hospital with your brother Ray Dee.

Lost my job counting chocolate bars because I fudged the numbers.

How come? It's not like you didn't have a enough fingers.

I used to work in a wardrobe factory but left - I was afraid of getting boxed in.

I used to be a part time DJ - Just for the record I wasn't that bad really.

Used to work in an egg factory - Wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

I once worked in double glazing but in the end they all saw through me.

I used to sell TVs - But there was no set pay structure.

I quit seismology after having an affair with my assistant - My wife rumbled me.

Beekeeping was a great career - used to give me such a buzz.

I used to work as a train guard but it was only a platform to better things.

I used to work in a sweet shop, but somebody ate it.

I worked in a post office, but it wasn't exactly a first class job.

I used to be an astronaut - it was out of this world!

I had a job in the Arctic once - it was cool!

I used to do drilling. It was boring.

I used to be a binman - it was rubbish.

I used to be a marriage consultant - it was quite engaging.

I used to work in a barbers. We used lots of gel. It was hair-raising stuff!

I used to be a miner - I got covered in mud, but I was filthy rich!

I worked in the returns department at Ann summers but was sacked for being the most useless c**t there.

Once worked at the sperm bank but quit because all of the customers were a set of wankers.

Worked in a very tiny, crowded brothel once but the boss fired me for being a waste of f**king space.

Also worked double-shifts in a different brothel for very tall prostitutes. In the end I left - I got fed up with the long whores.

I made porn films for a while, but I couldn't keep it up.

Quote: Nil Putters @ February 1 2011, 9:24 PM GMT

I made porn films for a while, but I couldn't keep it up.

View original

Me too - we started everyday at 9am but I got sacked for coming too soon.

You guys blew it!

I also made porn films but the guys on the front desk sent me to the wrong orifice.

I got fed up of feeling a right tit...and a left one too.

I once had a job doing the countdowns for NASA space missions... but it led to nothing.

I worked at a dental surgery for a while but I was only filling in while the usual dentist was on holiday.

I left my job in the Joke Shop to travel the World. I got itchy feet.