Common Taters

INT DAY

Inside a pub

Two men talking

RICHARD DOORKEYS:
I noticed you limping as you came in Andy

ANDY OFFWHITE:
Aye, give us a whisky, it'll dull the pain

RICHARD DOORKEYS:
Women eh, I'm locked out ya know.

ANDY OFFWHITE:
What did you do?

RICHARD DOORKEYS:
F**k all. Well, all I said was if she put a bit more
make-up on she could look as pretty as Nancy next door.

ANDY OFFWHITE:
What's wrong with speaking the plain truth these days.

RICHARD DOORKEYS:
Have you seen this cut under my eye, I forgot to duck.

ANDYOFFWHITE:
You wanna see my knackers, black and f**king blue.
Just because I caused a fuss because my dinner wasn't on the table when I got home.

RICHARD DOORKEYS:
Come on Andy, down that whisky.
We have some preliminary interviews to do before the match today.

ANDYOFFWHITE:
Aye. I hear there is a woman linesman today.

RICHARD DOORKEYS:
A woman linesman! F**king hell! It can't get any worse today can it?

spot on!!!! im loving this, I really didnt see that coming, feel kinda thick but in a happy way.

good stuff.

Liked it dude.

Take a boo son

'A woman linesman?'... WTF? Thats a joke in itself... Gay and lesbian linesmen, male postwomen, milkhermaphrodites, etc. You get the gist. Not bad Stephen.

Are people missing the fact that Steve has built this around a true story?
Funny stuff!

Quote: Reg N @ January 25 2011, 10:39 AM GMT

Are people missing the fact that Steve has built this around a true story?
Funny stuff!

View original

F**k me Reg. You ex Flying Squad or what

This seems very much like a one gag sketch to me - the gag being the reveal. Due to this, I think you could shorten the sketch considerably as the lines leading up to this don't add much to the sketch. Also, I'd recommend some sort of twist on the punchline as it's a bit obvious.

Quote: Will Cam @ January 25 2011, 12:55 PM GMT

F**k me Reg. You ex Flying Squad or what

View original

Well, no one seemed to mention it, and I thought, are they all cloistered in dark rooms straining to come up with jokes, and unaware of what is happening in the real world.
BTW, apparently the Millenium bug turned out to be nothing.
;-)

Quote: Will Cam @ January 25 2011, 12:55 PM GMT

F**k me Reg. You ex Flying Squad or what

View original

snigger

I'm not sure if everybody got it. ( I know some did of course)

The preamble was to show that these two characters are sexist and pay for their sexism.

The final line of 'it can't get any worse today, can it' is funny because it did get a lot worse and might even now become dreadful.

Maybe satire is not my bag

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ January 25 2011, 5:56 PM GMT

The preamble was to show that these two characters are sexist and pay for their sexism.

View original

I got that, but thought you were hammering it home a bit hard. I think there could be a more succinct and subtle way to show this.

Aye probably Ben. It was written off the cuff as a current story.

And I just heard Andy Gray has been sacked.

Apart from the sketch, how ridiculous is that.

goodlad, I wouldnt change a thing mate!!!!

I liked it (and got it), but maybe if you had each leering in turn at a girl walking by while not breaking sentence, like "Ah sure no-one could call me WOO HOO! WOULDYA LOOK AT THAT MON! I WOULDN'T KICK HER OUT! --- sexist, could they?"