Happy snaps

SCENE1

JAN AND JIM ARE IN A BAR SURROUNDED BY PAPARAZI ENJOYING A DRINK.

PAP1
I can't believe I got the upskirt photo of the Pope.

PAP2
Yes well done, I'm delighted with my photo of Prince Phil having a wank over Kate Middletons spread in Hello.

JAN
They seem cheerful.

JIM
Yes they are happy paps.

GEORGE MICHEAL DRIVES HIS CAR THROUGH THE WALL RUNNING JIM OVER

SCENE2

JAN AND JIM (WITH LEG,ARM AND HEAD BANDAGED) ARE IN A GRIMY FIGHT CLUB IN AN UNDERGROUND CAR PARK. A HOARD OF CITY TYPES ARE BETTING ON A JAPANESE BUSINESS MAN WHO SEEMS TO BE FIGHTING AN AMERICAN JEWISH GIRL.

BUSINESS MAN
I kill you Natalie Cohen, I punch you right in your nose job daddy just pay for.

AMERICAN JEWISH GIRL
I'm gonna go Hiroshima on your oriental ass Mr Roboto.

JAN
Wow this is an excelent underground death match.

JIM
Yes they certainly are scrappy Japs.

GEORGE MICHEAL DRIVES THROUGH THE WALL IN A CHALLENGER TANK RUNNING JIM OVER

SCENE3

JIM (IN A WHEEL CHAIR IN A COMIC FULL BODY CAST) AND JAN ARE GETTING THEIR PHOTOS DEVELOPED IN A PHOTO SHOP

JAN
Good thing we're getting our photos developed in Arkwrights photographic emporium. It doesn't sound anything like.

JIM
Don't say it Jan for God's sake don't say it. No more George Micheal car crash sshenanigans for us.

SHOP ASSISTANT
Oh Mr Arkwright we've been bought out by...

JIM
Oh no.

SHOP ASSISTANT
Boots!

JAN
Hoory oh happy day, kaloo kallay!

JAN IS SO HAPPY SHE PUNCHES THE SHOP ASSISTANT IN THE FACE JIM PHOTOGRAPHS THIS

JAN AND JIM TOGETHER
Happy Slap! Oh shit.

THE DEATH STAR PILOTED BY DARTH GEORGE MICHEAL CRASHES INTO THE SHOP

Surreal as ever (or at least as I remember) with a nice George Michael tag. Could be just as effective if he keeps crashing through in his car.

Thanks true about the car.

But I dunno the line Darth George Micheal made me smile so in it went.

Why George Micheal? Hilariously funny, but I agree that keeping the same scene (GM crashes through the wall in his car) might end up being funnier...

Sootyj, you are the Lady Gaga of the BCG. You are covered in meat on this one.

Quote: Will Cam @ January 21 2011, 2:55 PM GMT

Sootyj, you are the Lady Gaga of the BCG. You are covered in meat on this one.

View original

Is that a good thing?

I enjoyed this. Altho I think it would work better with the car all the time.

Ok car it is I surrender!

Quote: sootyj @ January 21 2011, 4:11 PM GMT

Is that a good thing?

View original

Too contrived for me, Soots.

I can't imagine anyone coming out with the phrases "Happy Paps" or "Scrappy Japs". Even if you get over that hurdle, neither one sounds enough like "Snappy Snaps" for the running gag to work.

If you are sticking with it, I agree that it would be better to have George in his car each time, otherwise you are introducing a degree of separation too many for the viewer.

On the plus side I liked the dialogue of the Paps.