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How I lost my job as a cancer Page 4
YO Sunshine Steve. This post is off topic 
Cancer is always fun - I contracted testicular cancer 5 years ago and I still have a ball.
B'dam ching.
Frankie Boyle shows you can make jokes about (pretty much) anything as long as you are funny.
Sorry, I have to agree with Sooty - I don't see the point. The core nascent idea, make a disease a person who can express opinions and investigate those opions for comic effect, isn't the best and I'd say is sixth form writing, but could just be rescued by good jokes - however I didn't really see any, jokes that is, good or bad. The best advice is be funny. Additionally the character you went for (? Fagan/ Ralph Fiennes/ creepy) does't come through in the writing at all, and then doesn't seem that funny - you might have benefited from picking a different character. Overall add some jokes.
So, the cancer comment was true - and humour helps. I had radiotherapy, which I thought would involve lying in the bath, lighting some candles and listening to Terry Wogan read from the Dulux shades catalogue. But instead you are strapped to a table and have a laser aimed at your nads - "do you expect me to talk?" "No, I expect you to not die".
You have to have two tattoos put on your stomach so they know how to line the machine up - I asked for a rampant dragon and "Hello Mum". Turns out the tattoos had to be just be a couple of dots - which is ironic, given how much she smokes.
etc etc
Quote: Big Jack @ January 18 2011, 11:02 PM GMTCancer is always fun - I contracted testicular cancer 5 years ago and I still have a ball.
humour helps. I had radiotherapy, which I thought would involve lying in the bath, lighting some candles and listening to Terry Wogan read from the Dulux shades catalogue. But instead you are strapped to a table and have a laser aimed at your nads - "do you expect me to talk?" "No, I expect you to not die".
You have to have two tattoos put on your stomach so they know how to line the machine up - I asked for a rampant dragon and "Hello Mum". Turns out the tattoos had to be just be a couple of dots - which is ironic, given how much she smokes.
etc etc
Be honest Jack, is this part of your stand-up act?
If not, you should think about it, it's funny. Maybe think of different, ffunnier tatoos, and I didn't get the dots joke. But otherwise funny 
Excellent stuff Jack! And I got the dot joke --- Dot COtton from Eastenders, right?
...Let me tell you about my Fanny...!!! Oh how we laughed! 
Yes - Dot Cotton. Thanks for the comments.
It's not a bit - I'm not a stand up - never have been, always wanted to be...
And Vroom - que?
You asked...
I'm tall, which for most medical professions indicates They will need the biggest ??? Forcep? Plunger to reach my inner lady canyon. (or the high heels and red lipstick sways them? ) They suck air and tut when I say no no no.
I'm in so many Jade Goody categories 
I should never expect sympathy, as a consistent medical response is "...and u think we like it!" This is a profession where i'D prefer a pervert lover of fanny handling me than a poorly paid prune who holds my valuables with contempt.
When they,ve shoved it in, lube free, they crack it open. Like a car Jack you hear the clicks of expansion. It feels like your hips are being split from you legs. The pain takes your breath. This is when the tears spill silently. This is when the medic taps your knee and says, hold on!
This is the only time you get to hear your own fanny. Each scape of the medic wand gives a aural history lesson on the primordial struggle.
Then the letter from the NHS saying I'm a whore, I mean um that a man passed on a bacteria that's turning my cells into cancer. Even though condoms were always used, Nuns don't get cervical cancer. Just whores and modern women. Joke is, like most women, I've never had an orgasm with penetrative sex! SHIT!
I used euphemisms ! Even I'm squirming at the thread title now! What was I thinking?
Haaaaaaha
Oh, was the question about stand up? Yes I have, yes I will again this month, yes my material is always fresh, yes I'm not consistently brilliant. Yes I'm working to improve my hit rate, yes