SuBo Love Music V.02

Old Skool Music Shop

Woman in thirties walks into a small independent music store. The shop
is full of Vinyl and CD's.

The Owner is a smooth talking city type, a budding Richard Branson.

Owner: Welcome to my music Den. How can I help? Miss?

Customer: I'm in love, I've just got into a relationship & I want music to match my mood, you know?

Owner: Yeah baby! I know exactly! How's about... Lemar's Love Album. He was the finalist on Fame Acadamy or something, beautiful voice.

Owner picks up the CD Lemar Love.

Customer: Um? Any particular Tracks? That would be suitable?

Owner: Oh this will be a classic [Sung] "Let me slide into your love" [Owner finishes the song by making the sound effect of a grunt, mouth pop and a whistle going up - "carry on" style]

Customer:No No, we've not got to that stage yet.

Owner: George Michael? [Sung] "Don't Let Your Son, Go down on Me, Coz I loves a Bear"

Customer: Not, no no

Owner: Elton Johns new album - the track [Sung] "You wear my lions mane, ile wear you" [Sound effect of a roar]

Customer: No! We're Romantic..

Owner: Barry White, Love Walrus...

Customer: Used him with my ex...put me off, and I want it to be real this time...

Owner: Well this came in today - only one copy (thankfully). It's Susan Boyle's new album.. she's fresh to romance. Wrote this album when she began dating Paul Potts.

Customer: Ok - what tracks has she got...

Owner: Um? Lets have a read. Papers say any minute we'll be hearing the tiny pitter patta of a little SuPoo. Yes yes. Let's hope the baby inherits the parents talents...not just looks....

Owner:Um first few tracks from SuBo's new album are "Is that it?", "I'd rather Titchmarsh", "My body stings, you sure we did it right?"

Customer: Perfect!

No matter how many tiems you write it, Lemar still wasn't on XFactor!

But what about little SuPoo... Susan Potts child:0)) HAAA HAA! Surely:0)

Hmm. Never going to work for me, I'm afraid. Maybe I'm just not enough "down with the kids" to get this. You seen my gramaphone? It's around here somewhere. Or my eight-track? (Oldie jokes to confuse the twenty-first century kid...)

LIAR! Troll - you did a Simon Cowell Joke (VIP one)... If you know Simon you know SuBo... she's the funniest thing to come out of English Pop Academy world!

The final line from the record owner - surely the title tracks ran a little elf of funny inside you - c'mon man!

Sorry but another miss for me. I just didn't buy into the customer's reasons for looking for the music. THe Subo connection seems out of place as well. Again there were no actual jokes to laugh at. Don't let that put you off posting though.

Women buy music. For a few/million reasons. This was a pun fest - of the cheesiest variety... especially Subo bits! I'm laughing thinking about it.

Sheesh you people are a hard audience.

Lack of comments regarding this sketch led me to believe the sketch was naff and not worth responding to. I'm not sure if your 'F' rated commment is propelling and inspiring me onto greatness.

Ho hum! The comedy urge is not mortally wounded.... yet

An email starting with a 'Sorry' or anything starting with a 'but' gives me a mercury drop of dread down my spine!

I know Cowell (is there a person anywhere on this planet who does not? Rumour has it that the Wikki-wakki tribe of darkest Guinea have a legend that if you don't eat your coconut shell the dread Cowen will come for you in the night and make you sing, then mock you till you cry!) and I know OF SUsan Boyle, but have zero interest in her, or her music. I also hate the X-Factor, having only watched when my sick sister was able to make it downstairs (she's confined to bed now) and I would watch it with her strictly to keep her company.

But even knowing these things does not, still, make the sketch funny, at least not for me. Sorry, I really and truly do not get it at all.

Quote: Vroomboo @ January 10 2011, 3:22 PM GMT

But what about little SuPoo... Susan Potts child:0)) HAAA HAA! Surely:0)

View original

I actually found the idea of little SuPoo quite offensive.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
(Please don't threaten me - just accept I'm scum)

This did't amuse me.

Constantly writing the same style sketch and ignoring ciriticism runs the risk of you getting ignored. As people may think you are taking the mickey.

It'd be a shame to do that so early in your time here.

A few suggestions
1 Don't describe the characters forces you to make them more distinctive
2 Base your sketches around fewer ideas
3 Find a more visually pleasing style of sketch your current ones are a bit confusing

I don't understand point 1? Can you clarify.

The Owner is a smooth talking city type, a budding Richard Branson

I shouldn't describe the owner the way I have?

So I should be more explicit?

Or just call him the 'Owner' and leave it as that?

Your 2nd point about basing a sketch around fewer ideas - that 'Literally' sketch was slammed as being too simple.

I think sooty means that describing the owner in detail is a waste of time as the owner's appearance has no bearing on the point of the sketch.