I've been living in London for over a year now and still haven't really met anyone that's into the comedy I'm into.
I've only ever sold one sketch. It was for Radio 4, and even though it was the first thing I'd ever gone for it wasn't the comedy I want to be writing/acting for.
This is a little sample of what I like. It's a bit messy....
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The naked lady......female vegetarian lies face up on the floor of the meat cell.
...........Shackles keep her in her place..........
........................
..............................arms out.........
.....legs spread.............
.......................................her legs are spread.........
..............spread good.
The floor is meat..........the walls are meat.......
..............
...................Everything is meat........all kinds......congealed jelly cement holds the many forms together...
...............
.....................beef.......chicken.......ham.......duck.......rabbit........
............dog & cat.........
.........................................not all dead either........mostly skinned........
...........but even some of those.......well......meat surprise.......
.............It's fresh..........for now..........it's fresh.......and it's tasty.
................................
.................Many forms..........every form you can think of.......and a hell of a lot more.........
.........................The congealed meat cement glistens......jelly cement.....
.............
..................it glistens in the dark.
The visible light makes the meat cell come alive........
.....beautiful..........a muted chicken flap from somewhere deep within.......
...............
...................Deep walls........deep ceiling........deep floor.........deep meat.
......................................DEEP MEAT!
............
.......................The naked lady......female vegetarian lies there with her eyes closed....
...................not dead........where would the fun be in that?
.............................
.....................................Noise........noise.........NOISE..........
..................
........................NOISE!!!!
.........BEEF COW.........COW BEEF SCARED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
.............................................................................scared beef.........
......crying beef.............
............................................beef cry....
.......poor little beef cry.
......................
............................Scared beef on ceiling rail.......pinned through the flesh.........
..............
.................BEEF EYE!
.........................................poor little beef eye.........bloody beef.......
..................
......................BEEF NOISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The naked lady......female vegetarian opens her eyes..........
....................................
...........................................
...........she doesn't even have time to question where she is.......
............
..............no time to question anything.........perfect timing........
.........................
As she awakeNS from her induced naked coma........the first thing she sees is the humungous beef cow being ripped apart above her..
...................
.............................Ceiling rail pulse.........a strange electrical pulse.......
.................
........................and the beef cow splits in two............
..................................It's beautiful how the beef cow comes apart..........
...............................................torn............
.........................
..............................blood........guts.......shit..........beef cow..........
...................
........................it covers her..........the naked lady......female vegetarian........
.................................
.....................................covered............
.................She screams....................sick............it is revolting to watch her vomiting bloody cow shit.........
.....................................revolting.......yet fascinating.
Spread legged beef period.................
..........she's had a spread legged beef period........how embarrassing?
....She screams............she..........
...........SHE...........
................................................................she tries to..........
..........beef cow choke...............
........................................................gut f**ked............
....................
..................................beef cow surprise.............eyeball manoeuvre............
..........MOOO BALL!
.................An imaginary moo.............
.......MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
............Split hanging carcass.........eye contact...........
.................
..................blood everywhere.........................puddles of it.........
......gut sculpture.......
.........................................................................................
..............................................
............................................................blood everywhere.
..........
.............
........
.........................Shackles.......removed.
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ESCAPE FROM THE MEAT CELL/SPREAD LEGGED BEEF PERIOD................TBC
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It doesn't paste very well. I want to be involved in a comedy/acting troupe of some kind. I want to do something different.
Get in touch if you feel the same.
Ty
X
