Lifted straight from 'The Young Ones'
Literally v0.2 Page 2
Sorry V for me you still start too big and don't build so it is too long, so can't see how you could sell this as it is. And what is the logic behind it?
Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ January 11 2011, 6:40 PM GMTLifted straight from 'The Young Ones'
Never said it wasn't.... 
I only made it halfway before boredom set in and I had to bail. What's the joke? Tabatha says "literally" a lot?
I never read the original version of this but I thought it was quite good. As people have said it is a bit long and at times hard to read. However, I feel some people have been a bit dismissive when this is one of the funnier things I've seen on the forum in the last while.
Oh and I agree people are way too liberal with their use of the word literally. I literally think some people think it means figuratively.
Quote: David Bussell @ January 12 2011, 9:56 AM GMTI only made it halfway before boredom set in and I had to bail. What's the joke? Tabatha says "literally" a lot?
I believe the joke is that she uses literally when she does not mean it, as in, "they were literally ten feet tall", when they obviously were not, or "I literally died" etc, to the point where the cop can only get her to commit an answer by using her method: "LITERALLY a van?"
Quote: Trollheart @ January 12 2011, 3:39 PM GMTI believe the joke is that she uses literally when she does not mean it, as in, "they were literally ten feet tall", when they obviously were not
Sure, but that's not joke enough to sustain a sketch of this length. The "literally" thing isn't exactly a new observation either - just to pluck one example from the air, David Cross used to do a whole routine about people misusing the word. "Oh man, you should have seen it, I literally shit my pants!"
That all said, people like catchphrases, re-gurgitated or otherwise, so this sort of thing might well have an audience if it was performed right.
Marmite sketch!!
I've re-written the sketch premise in that Tabatha has actually been taken on a DATE and the kidnapping attempt/police involvement was due to Tabatha running out of money and phoning her dad - asking for cash "I've literally been kidnapped! They're gonna cut my head off if I don't give them the money"
Thanks to the 20% of readers who think this sketch is 1 of the best on this site, we should probably spend holidays together, staying up late laughing.
For the 40% that find the sketch boring, joke-free and couldn't manage to finish reading it or even understand it - well it's a delight you still had the motivation to tell me how boring it is!
All the others - I'm glad you recognise the spark of funny. More specific pruning advice (lines, sections) is appreciated.
Did none of you read my SuBo Love Music sketch - surely that had a Marmite impact aswell???
Another thing. 'Critique' is a method of disciplined, systematic analysis of a written discourse'
Yeah, I read your other sketch. Sorry, but I didn't find it in the least bit funny. Probably just me...
Troll - I doubt it's just you. 
It was a joke that had my mates and I laughing after a Thai meal. Silly girl humour probably 
Should the aim be to write jokes that everyone on this forum agrees is funny?
Or should I write jokes that specific members of the forum like - as their take on 'funny' is what the market will buy?
Some of the replies have the whiff of annoyance - on the part of the reader. As if I've let them down by not making them laugh. Should I add a %hit rate to the top of sketches to warn potential readers? For example "BEWARE - only 20% of readers will enjoy this".
Don't tar us all with your dirty stick, missy.
Nat - did you find that Subo Love Music sketch funny? 
I think if you try to appeal to everyone you're gonna lose in the end. Even apart from the writing here, people's preferences are so varied with comedy. Some love "Little Britain" (I don't) or "The Office" (again, not for me), or will hate "Blackadder" or "Red Dwarf" (guess who likes them?), but this does not mean that any of these shows are bad, just that they don't hit the right note with certain people. Others, who have yet to read your sketches, may consider you the next Jo Brand (god help ya!) or whoever, so don't give up.
Unless everyone hates it, and there are no good comments or constructive criticism, there has to be potential there, just not yet realised.
(How MANY have I had??? I better not drive .... gimnme my keys so I can make sure I put them somewhere safe...) 
Quote: Vroomboo @ January 13 2011, 4:54 PM GMTThanks to the 20% of readers who think this sketch is 1 of the best on this site.
See you can do comedy if you just edit it down!
Thanks - my heart has been found