Remember 2010? I have bundle of News Revue/Treason song rejects which I am just going to dump on here for the hell of it (and because there's nothing else I can do with them now except let them die).
Anyway, first up: it's April. Imagine Bjork coming on your stage to perform this.
(sung to the tune of IT'S OH SO QUIET by Bjork)
Sshhh!
Sshhh!
It was oh so quiet
Sshhh, sshhh
It was oh so dull
Ssshh, sshhh
Least it was til you'd heard of
Eyjafjallajökull
It blew its top
Bang boom
When would it stop?
Bang boom
Volcanic spew
Wow bam
Once Iceland squandered all your cash
Our hottest thing now's clouds of ash
The sort that might make jumbos crash
So you notice at home
Sshhh, sshhh
It's nice and quiet
Sshhh, sshhh
But if planes aren't flying
Sshhh, sshhh
Then the passengers riot
They blow a fuse
Zing boom
Cos insurers refuse
Zing boom
To pay all their dues
"Wankers!"
For acts of God
But isn't it quiet?
It's oh so still
You can even hear birdsong
It's so peaceful until...
They fly again!
Zoom zoom
A f**king pain
Bang bang
Flights back from Spain
"Wankers!"
God must you export gangs like these?
All rutting stags and girls of sleaze
Exchanging texts and STDs
Can't we stop it again?
Make it nice and quiet
Sshhh, sshhh
Can't another volcano
Put an end to this shite?
But you'd just ask why?
Zing boom
Want your freedom to fly
Zing boom
Even if you might die
Wam bam
Cos of volcanic ash
The sky could cave in
The devil cut loose
But you blow blow blow blow blow your fuse
If your plane doesn't fly
Sshhhhh-its!
END