From another thread, me giving new boy Darren Taylor the benefit of my experience (zero) in wtiting standup he could do about going to the gym (topic use as suggested by others). I laughed, but is it funny? Darren is only 16 by the way.
Here's a few free ideas for you Darren to use/modify or just plain ignore (if you become famous you can thank me in your memoirs!.
"So I'm walking into the changing room with 6 other men on the gym induction course and I am a little bit nervous . We all start getting dressed and I'm thinking, this is actually alright, it's just like getting ready for school PE (except Mr 'Peado' Peterson wasn't there (do actions) rubbing his hands and licking his lips).
It was going really well and I'd just got down to my undies when a naked bloke came out of the shower area and picked up his towel. Now I'd never really believed in instinct but, before you could say (spoken quickly)'what's the worst thing that can happen if you totally misjudge a situation with adults you have only just met', I (do actions in slow motion)grabbed my Power Rangers towel (mock spin it in slow motion whilst doing Kung-foo face) and (very fast action) flicked him in the nuts.
Now I don't know if you've ever seen a naked 76 year old go down like a sack of spuds?... It was like a bit like Dobby being kicked over by Lucius Malfoy.
Harry Potter and the Gurning Septuagenarian I thought....well, screamed.......very loudly.....or so the Police report said.
On the plus side...it was an ideal opportunity to bond with my new gym friends in the tried and tested St Joseph's School tradition. Imagine my surprise, after diving on top of the horizontal Hobbit, that my cry of 'Pile-on' fell on deaf ears... leaving me somewhat embarrassed.
