British Comedy Guide

2011 Resolutions

Anyone made any interesting resolutions this year?

Mine is to eat a piece of furniture. I have an old rocking chair with a busted arm and I'm going to eat a shaving every day until I've eaten the whole thing.

Nice.

Mine is to have as much sex as I can.

Quote: EllieJP @ January 7 2011, 4:48 PM GMT

Nice.

Mine is to have as much sex as I can.

Girl sex?

No, proper sex.

*causes friction*

Quote: EllieJP @ January 7 2011, 4:56 PM GMT

No, proper sex.

*causes friction*

Girl friction?

No, not girl friction.

Are you not worried about getting splinters in your stomach?

Quote: EllieJP @ January 7 2011, 5:06 PM GMT

No, not girl friction.

Are you not worried about getting splinters in your stomach?

Not really. I once got drunk and ate a lightbulb (with the band Gomez no less) and there was no blowback from that.

You just gotta make the pieces REALLY small hey?

Quote: EllieJP @ January 7 2011, 5:06 PM GMT

Are you not worried about getting splinters in your stomach?

With all the wood you're wanting we could ask you the same question.

I'd be worried if it was going in my belly button, but it's not... so no, I am not worried about splinters in my stomach.

Quote: EllieJP @ January 7 2011, 5:25 PM GMT

I'd be worried if it was going in my belly button, but it's not... so no, I am not worried about splinters in my stomach.

Where else do you put it? Huh?

Ear.

Quote: EllieJP @ January 7 2011, 5:39 PM GMT

Ear.

Are you being northern?

"Put it 'ere"

Quote: EllieJP @ January 7 2011, 4:48 PM GMT

Mine is to have as much sex as I can.

I resolve to help you with this in any way possible.

Quote: DaButt @ January 7 2011, 5:41 PM GMT

I resolve to help you with this in any way possible.

Thanks. :)

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