Juan Kerr once managed to wee into his own hat from 6ft away.
Make an unfounded claim about the poster above you Page 51
Ellie JP spent the weekend cosily snowed-in with Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall at his River Cottage love-nest. They went wassailing in the orchard, then later enjoyed an evening of hot cider and table skittles before Ellie rode Hugh like Red Rum in the Grand National. Later on, Drum n Bass legend, Goldie, popped by with his home-made mince pies - and enjoyed sloppy seconds - with Hugh, whilst Ellie found yet another use for a set of drum sticks. These scenes have been edited out from 'Hugh's Riverside Christmas Bonanza' - but eagle eyed viewers may see Hugh's organic bronze-feathered turkey being trussed up with Ellie's thong - to give it that scrumptious seafood and chestnut essence, and also semen on Hugh's crib scene - but who's is it we ask?.
Juan Kerr likes his Boiled Eggs in a certain way.
Thrown in the bin.
Steve Sunshine was invited to be on the judging panel of Mr Universe 1974 but passed on the opportunity because he was offered the job of ghost writing Percy Thrower's autobiography
In Swahili, Tuumble literally translates as Gok Wan
Roscoff is officially the second most interesting thing in the whole of Wales.
Sooty brushes his 6ft long hair 1000 times before bed.
EllieJ pees...then brushes her 1000ft long hair 6 times before she goes to bed.
She then uses her hair to snare male prey on the street - from her bedroom window - then she f**ks them.
Quote: Juan Kerr @ December 22 2010, 10:49 AM GMTEllie . . . brushes her 1000ft long hair 6 times before she goes to bed.
She then uses her hair to snare male prey on the street - from her bedroom window - then she f**ks them.
Juan Kerr deliberately omitted to mention that Ellie is therefore known locally as Rape-unzel.
Veronica Vestibule was bequeathed Jeremy Beadle's little hand. He uses it to eat chips with.
Will Cam's little man played the Artful Todger in the adult stage show A Blue Christmas Carol in Soho.
Alfred J Kipper is the hot favourite to be the next Pope.
Tuumble added the extra "u" to his real name (Tumble) by deed poll, just so it looks vaguely like a pair of women's tits nestling in there. He was breast fed until the age of 22 by David Walliams in drag.
Tim keeps himself alive by eating the sperm inside used condoms.
Ellie keeps herself alive by eating the sperm and other 'detritus' found on the outside of used condoms.
Steve Sunshine writes all the jokes found in (Lidl own brand) Christmas crackers and is grateful for the work. He is paid for his efforts in miniature plastic shoe horns.