Very useful poems Page 9

Quote: Veronica Vestibule @ December 21 2010, 2:26 PM GMT

Tallness is quite useful:
It's caused by garlic bread
And crisps and cakes and chocolate
(see the 'Miranda' thread).

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Explanatory note: the topic is still topical as, in last night's episode, she'd scoffed all the Advent chocolates on the day of purchase, she was eating cream cake by the double-handful and her mother sang a song about Miranda lying around all day stuffing as much food as possible into her face and being unable to find a husband.

And the thing standing between Miranda and happiness is her tallness and/or her failure to see how attractive she is?

Puh-le-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-ase!

Quote: Griff @ December 21 2010, 2:59 PM GMT

Are you this boring in real life?

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Griff is very useful,
Because he's very gruff,
But not as much as Godot,
Who hates all your stuff.

The Leevil is most fine
He likes a sandwich from Subway
The reason is quite sublime
He's a sub and very gay

Quote: Griff @ December 21 2010, 3:22 PM GMT

Technically my name is even spelt Gruff, another shining example of the "give a dog a bad name" principle.

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I wonder if sooty like to "black up"?

Loopey is quite useful
If you want to park for free
Or get half price theatre tickets
To get discount go with me!

Quote: Griff @ December 21 2010, 2:59 PM GMT

Are you this boring in real life?

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Quote: Leevil @ December 21 2010, 3:09 PM GMT

Griff is very useful,
Because he's very gruff,
But not as much as Godot,
Who hates all your stuff.

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Griff and Lee are useful:
Their wit dispels the gloom.
When either's there, a chap would swear
Oscar Wilde was in the room.

(I don't get it)

Loopey sounds quite useful:
Free parking and cheap seats.
But in exchange she seeks a range
Of sordid carnal treats.

(Hopefully)

Quote: Veronica Vestibule @ December 21 2010, 2:55 PM GMT

Explanatory note: the topic is still topical as, in last night's episode, she'd scoffed all the Advent chocolates on the day of purchase, she was eating cream cake by the double-handful and her mother sang a song about Miranda lying around all day stuffing as much food as possible into her face and being unable to find a husband.

And the thing standing between Miranda and happiness is her tallness and/or her failure to see how attractive she is?

Puh-le-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-ase!

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No just the second of the options as I explained earlier. You are talking about gags VV I am talking about the engine of a show that gives it legs - if I may mix my metaphors.

Cheap seats are always useful
When into town you come.
It makes no sense to waste good pence
On comfort for your bum.

Quote: Marc P @ December 21 2010, 4:05 PM GMT

No just the second of the options as I explained earlier. You are talking about gags VV I am talking about the engine of a show that gives it legs - if I may mix my metaphors.

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Engines are quite useful
For giving shows their legs.
Miranda's engine's 'fatness', though,
As sure as eggs are eggs.

Being right is useful
I love it muchly, me.
But I know that he's no fool,
My old friend Marcus P.

Perhaps he's right in his own way?
Maybe I'm right in mine?
Are we engaged in endless fray
Each wasting our own time?

One thing I think is certain:
The show will run and run
And won't go for a Burton.
It really is 'such fun!'

Quote: Veronica Vestibule @ December 21 2010, 4:01 PM GMT

Loopey sounds quite useful:
Free parking and cheap seats.
But in exchange she seeks a range
Of sordid carnal treats.

(Hopefully)

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I usually just ask for an ice cream in the interval

Quote: Loopey @ December 21 2010, 5:00 PM GMT

I usually just ask for an ice cream in the interval

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An ice cream is quite useful
Especially from a tub
Shared with one's beau in the back row
How dairy! There's the rub.

Quote: Griff @ December 21 2010, 5:45 PM GMT

These poems were quite charming
When Tuumble made this thread
But reading it this evening
I wish he hadn't f**king bothered and so does he probably.

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Griff is very useful:
His wit dispels the gloom.
When e'er he's there, a chap would swear
Oscar Wilde was in the room.

Bill's "will" can be quite useful
His "won't" some don't adore
But neither "will" nor "won't" you see
Can help to sweep the floor.

Duvets are very useful
For keeping you snug and warm
And not showing the wife the TV weather girl
Is giving you the horn .