British Comedy Guide

Very useful poems Page 5

Quote: sootyj @ December 19 2010, 7:00 PM GMT

Ellie JP as a mod
She's really VIP
But date her
And you'll get a STD

*Turns into Sootyj*

Quote: EllieJP @ December 19 2010, 7:04 PM GMT

*Turns onto Sootyj*

I say! Monocle steams up and pops out, whislt bow tie revolves and face turns puce

Fannies are so useful
For giving you the horn,
As a handy place to put a book
Or keep you away from porn.

Gravity is useful
It keeps us all quite grounded
Some people don't believe in it
But their views are unfounded

Mods are very useful
Their attention microscopic
But piss them off and all your posts
Will end up marked "off topic"

Quote: Badge @ December 19 2010, 7:20 PM GMT

Mods are very useful
Their attention microscopic
But piss them off and all your posts
Will end up marked "off topic"

Laughing out loud

A sock is very useful
For mopping up your cum
Or if you're out of bog-roll
For wiping clean your bum

That's gross!!

Snow is very useful
It whitens up the grass
But watch your shoes aren't slippy
Or you'll end up on your arse

Your arse is very useful
Expels the food you eat
But if you want to bum me, tough!
Mine is a one way street

Films are very useful
Im watching one right now
Russell Crowe is in it
Gladiator take a bow

A poem is very useful
For rhyming, jokes 'n' that
But read 'em on the tele
And you'll look like a total twat.

Toes are very useful
For helping feet to roam
But small ones are incontinent
And wee on the the way home

Wouldnt it be useful
If this was the way everyone talked all the time
Politicians would be speechless
And it'd most likely decrease crime

The police are very useful
For harassing the blacks
But never bother folk too much
On the white side of the tracks

Banks are very useful
They store your hard earned cash
Trouble is they want to keep it
And never give it back

Spoons are very useful
For scooping up your food
Don't use them in the toilet bowl
That would be very rude

Knives are very useful
To make food fit your gob
But trim your pubic hair with one
And you might lose your knob

Forks are very useful
As far as I can tell
There's a chance of forks in heaven
But not a fork in hell

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