Nigerian scam letters

I don't know if anybody has started a similar thread, but these things are just hilarious. Fonejacker was a cracker, of course. I'm trying to sell my laptop at the moment on Ebay and some fool in Nigeria has "bought" it (so I now have to go through the hassle of relisting it). He wants me to send him the item before he's paid for it!

Perhaps people have hilariously obvious scam emails they would like to share. I was wondering if we could compose a humourous response to these scammers. (Of course a lot of sketches have been written on the theme, I think.)

I find the funniest thing is all the people who get taken in/nearly taken in by these people. I googled "Ebay Nigeria scam", and the things people have been saying on the blog pages...! "I thought it was a bit suspicious, thank you so much, I was just googling how much it costs to send a package to Nigeria when all this came up - you've saved me $1200" - Pff! How silly do you have to be?

People actually reply to these?!! Jeez! They deserve to lose a load of money if they are serious about it!

People actually Google "Ebay Nigera scam"? I don't believe anybody could be so gullible as to be taken in by anything they read on Google!

Now this laptop, if you can send me $20 dollar I can help you sell it no probs! PM me for address. (PM me because if I put my addy here I'll be inundated by dollar!)

Apparently there are even special schools in Nigeria, which teach people how to become scammers.

Those e-mails claiming to be from the Director of the National Bank of Nigeria are hilarious. I think we should all reply and say "Why not sell your relatives and neighbours to the scary white men again then?"

Or something along those lines. It would amuse me greatly.

Some of the spam that I receive is inadvertently hilarious. Just dipping into my spam folder quickly - "If your warrior of love is too small, you may lose this war" - florid prose indeed!

I'm put in mind of *I think* a Michael Palin/Eric Idle quote along the lines of "I get loads of spam offering to extend the length of my pen15 by 6". I've taken them all up, now it's 9 feet long"

Tried to google for it, but those names and spam only really return MPFC references.

If you never read anything else on the web, read this. It's (very,) very long, but totally worth it the further you get into it. I've never laughed so much and trying to suppress the giggles at work is easier knowing someone else in the same office is guffawing at exactly the same thing.

http://www.419eater.com/html/bigman.htm

Totally worth it though. Enjoy.

Dan

Quote: Aljado @ December 3, 2007, 9:26 AM

Some of the spam that I receive is inadvertently hilarious. Just dipping into my spam folder quickly - "If your warrior of love is too small, you may lose this war" - florid prose indeed!

I'm put in mind of *I think* a Michael Palin/Eric Idle quote along the lines of "I get loads of spam offering to extend the length of my pen15 by 6". I've taken them all up, now it's 9 feet long"

Tried to google for it, but those names and spam only really return MPFS references.

View original

Quote: swerytd @ December 3, 2007, 9:45 AM

If you never read anything else on the web, read this. It's (very,) very long, but totally worth it the further you get into it. I've never laughed so much and trying to suppress the giggles at work is easier knowing someone else in the same office is guffawing at exactly the same thing.

http://www.419eater.com/html/bigman.htm

Totally worth it though. Enjoy.

Dan

View original

I'm far too lazy to read the whole thing, looks great though.

Ever read The Chronicles of Bloodninja?

My fav scam of all time was the guy who set up his own business by advertising "Small people, grow 4" in height. Please send cheque or postal order for £19.99 to......"

Then all the egits got their packages & it was 2 lumps of 4" wood with a velcro strap around each. Hahahahahahaha. Pucca!

To be fair it was'nt really a scam, because if they wore the blocks of wood they did grow 4" in height.
Woooooo!!

Quote: swerytd @ December 3, 2007, 9:45 AM

If you never read anything else on the web, read this. It's (very,) very long, but totally worth it the further you get into it. I've never laughed so much and trying to suppress the giggles at work is easier knowing someone else in the same office is guffawing at exactly the same thing.

http://www.419eater.com/html/bigman.htm

Totally worth it though. Enjoy.

Dan

View original

Just read that! I can not believe that he actually produced that carved head -and the squirrel!!!!!

@ swerytd: That correspondence is quality, especially the 'shopped mural. I was waiting for the author to reveal himself or challenge the health issues laid out in email 1, but it became so convoluted I think the scammer overcame his greed and gave in to suspicion.

Good read though. Thanks for posting that.

Ellie & Aljado

No probs. Funniest thing I've read on the web by far. Glad someone's enjoyed it too!

Dan

I like how the squirrel looked really fat, because it was meant to have eaten so much wood.