Christmas Day is useful
A time for food and parcels
But also family visits
And they're such a load of aunties and uncles
Very useful poems Page 3
The penis is so useful,
I can stand there and pee,
But when I do the same with shit,
People like laugh at me.
Quote: Steve Sunshine @ December 17 2010, 11:12 PM GMTThe BCG is useful
To unload your neurosis
And if you have it young enough
It cures Tuberculosis.
(Though I'm sure Tim will confirm "cure" is the wrong word)
Hope is most useful it can't be denied
It keeps you warm inside
But if that won't do
Have you considered suicide?
Laziness is useful
Sitcoms are are so useful
To standups of any old hue,
Unfunny laddish twats,
Fat females and gay jews.
Quote: Badge @ December 18 2010, 8:02 PM GMTLaziness is useful
Irony is wonderful
It's always worth a punt
It tell the world your funny
And not a f**king c**t
Trucks are very useful
For blocking up the roads
Their drivers read a lot of porn
And often shed their loads
Chinmeys are very useful
Now Santa's coming back
Be careful not to light a fire
And singe his bulging sack
Noses are very useful
For smelling what you scoff
If you didn't have one
Your glasses would fall off
Quote: Veronica Vestibule @ December 18 2010, 5:15 PM GMTGirls are very useful
They have tits at the front
But that's not a girl has,
She also has a personality.
Like I said earlier not really scanning. 
Marc P is very useful,
Novels he does write,
Make a poem not scan well,
He'll take you in a fight.
Quote: Leevil @ December 19 2010, 12:28 AM GMTMarc P is very useful,
Novels he does write,
Make a poem not scan well,
He'll rape you in the niight.
Leevil you can't like that about the man who wrote Dr Who!
Rules are very useful
They help control the fun
But be careful not to break them
Or I will nag you 'til you're done.
Quote: Ishy @ December 19 2010, 12:13 AM GMTTrucks are very useful
For blocking up the roads
Their drivers read a lot of porn
And often shed their loads
V funny... the trucker from Thelma & Louise came to mind...
A horn is very useful
You can blow it in your truck
But honk it like a perverted pest
And you'll soon run out of luck
A horn is very useful
Especially if unique
But chances are you'll ne'er clap eyes
On such an equine freak.
(Do you get it?)