Why do I feel like i've just been shafted by Carling?
Heres my sketch I wrote in February this year. Read it then watch the advert link below.
SAINT PETER:
Welcome to the Pearly Gates. Your name is.
ED:
Ed. What just happened?
SAINT PETER:
You died. Date of birth.
ED:
March the 8th 1973. How did I die?
SAINT PETER:
Eggs.
ED:
Eggs?
SAINT PETER:
You got Ecoli from an egg and died. Earthly residence?
ED:
Farnborough, Kent. So I got into Heaven?
SAINT PETER:
If everything checks out, yes.
ED:
Sweet. What did I get in for?
SAINT PETER:
Good behaviour, specifically you brushed your teeth every day.
ED:
Brushing my teeth?
SAINT PETER:
Hygiene is very important. We can’t stink up heaven or else it
wouldn’t be heaven would it. Religion?
ED:
Christian, Church of England.
SAINT PETER:
Just checking the computer, it takes a minute. Any questions?
ED:
Is God a man or a woman?
SAINT PETER:
Well you can’t define god as…
ED:
Is there something wrong?
SAINT PETER:
Can’t let you in with trainers.
ED:
What?
SAINT PETER:
No trainers, it’s a Heaven policy.
ED:
Can I take them off?
SAINT PETER:
No sir. Step behind the rope, sir.
ED:
But where can I go?
SAINT PETER:
You can go to hell sir.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7AM49svaGQ
Think i'm making this up? Heres proof I wrote it in February https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/761
It was also featured on Purple Comedy Podcast Number 42 at 08:14 http://standupcomedy.podOmatic.com/entry/2007-09-08T09_09_22-07_00