INT:AN EXTREMELY LARGE ROOM
WE SEE AN INFINITE NUMBER OF MONKEYS SITTING AT AN INFINITE NUMBER OF TYPEWRITERS.
FOUR MONKEYS ARE HAVING A BREAK.
MONKEY 1:
I'm having a bit of trouble with the ending of Romeo & Juliet, my Head says happy ending, but my heart says double suicide.
MONKEY 2:
Don't worry mate, if you don't get it right one of the others will.
MONKEY 1:
I mean what makes good writing? That's what I want to know.
MONKEY 2:
Opposable thumbs maybe?
MONKEY 1:
Good point. Most good writers have those. How are you getting on anyway?
MONKEY 2:
Well basically I've just been banging away randomly with my fists.
MONKEY 1:
Well you are just a Monkey.
MONKEY 2:
Exactly all I've managed so far is two Jeffrey Archer novels. How are you getting on over there Pete?
MONKEY 3:
I've been working on the Comedies myself, Loves labours lost that sort of thing.
MONKEY 2:
Ooh Ahh Ahh get you! Go on then read us out a joke.
MONKEY 3:
Well they're not really ha ha funny, more like Oh I see why that might be amusing funny.
MONKEY 1:
Bit like the Now show?
MONKEY3:
Yeah something like that.
MONKEY 1:
To be honest I'm finding it hard to concentrate with all the noise in here. And the smell isn't helping either.
MONKEY 3:
That's what I've been saying, it stinks in here if they're expecting one of us to duplicate the complete works of the great Bard himself then at least have the decency to open a window or two.
MONKEY 2:
I'm starving has anyone got a Banana?
MONKEY 1:
You've already had one
MONKEY 2:
Yeah well I want another one, I thought there was supposed to be infinite amounts of Bananas I wouldn't have signed up otherwise.
MONKEY 3:
Yeah there is an infinite amounts of Bananas.... It works out to One Each.
MONKEY 1:
This is ridiculous, I mean why are they making us do this anyway? I thought they always say you're supposed to write what you know. And the one thing about Monkeys is we don't tend to know much about Shakespeare.
MONKEY 3:
It is very puzzling I'll give you that! Although that's not why I'm scratching my head.
MONKEY 1:
They probably just want to make a point of some kind I suppose.
MONKEY 2:
When can we go home... I'm bored.
MONKEY 1:
We've got to stay until someone finishes. Don't worry I've only got about thirty seven & a half plays to go.
MONKEY 4:
I've finished!
MONKEY 3:
What? the whole lot?
MONKEY 4:
Yup! Julius Caeser, Hamlet, the Scotch one I've done the lot here have a look.
MONKEY 1:
Hold on you've spelt Shakespeare wrong and the pages are all covered in shit.
MONKEY 4:
Well If you're going to be a snob about it then sod ya.