Too Much Monkey Business

INT:AN EXTREMELY LARGE ROOM

WE SEE AN INFINITE NUMBER OF MONKEYS SITTING AT AN INFINITE NUMBER OF TYPEWRITERS.
FOUR MONKEYS ARE HAVING A BREAK.

MONKEY 1:
I'm having a bit of trouble with the ending of Romeo & Juliet, my Head says happy ending, but my heart says double suicide.

MONKEY 2:
Don't worry mate, if you don't get it right one of the others will.

MONKEY 1:
I mean what makes good writing? That's what I want to know.

MONKEY 2:
Opposable thumbs maybe?

MONKEY 1:
Good point. Most good writers have those. How are you getting on anyway?

MONKEY 2:
Well basically I've just been banging away randomly with my fists.

MONKEY 1:
Well you are just a Monkey.

MONKEY 2:
Exactly all I've managed so far is two Jeffrey Archer novels. How are you getting on over there Pete?

MONKEY 3:
I've been working on the Comedies myself, Loves labours lost that sort of thing.

MONKEY 2:
Ooh Ahh Ahh get you! Go on then read us out a joke.

MONKEY 3:
Well they're not really ha ha funny, more like Oh I see why that might be amusing funny.

MONKEY 1:
Bit like the Now show?

MONKEY3:
Yeah something like that.

MONKEY 1:
To be honest I'm finding it hard to concentrate with all the noise in here. And the smell isn't helping either.

MONKEY 3:
That's what I've been saying, it stinks in here if they're expecting one of us to duplicate the complete works of the great Bard himself then at least have the decency to open a window or two.

MONKEY 2:
I'm starving has anyone got a Banana?

MONKEY 1:
You've already had one

MONKEY 2:
Yeah well I want another one, I thought there was supposed to be infinite amounts of Bananas I wouldn't have signed up otherwise.

MONKEY 3:
Yeah there is an infinite amounts of Bananas.... It works out to One Each.

MONKEY 1:
This is ridiculous, I mean why are they making us do this anyway? I thought they always say you're supposed to write what you know. And the one thing about Monkeys is we don't tend to know much about Shakespeare.

MONKEY 3:
It is very puzzling I'll give you that! Although that's not why I'm scratching my head.

MONKEY 1:
They probably just want to make a point of some kind I suppose.

MONKEY 2:
When can we go home... I'm bored.

MONKEY 1:
We've got to stay until someone finishes. Don't worry I've only got about thirty seven & a half plays to go.

MONKEY 4:
I've finished!

MONKEY 3:
What? the whole lot?

MONKEY 4:
Yup! Julius Caeser, Hamlet, the Scotch one I've done the lot here have a look.

MONKEY 1:
Hold on you've spelt Shakespeare wrong and the pages are all covered in shit.

MONKEY 4:
Well If you're going to be a snob about it then sod ya.

I thought this was really good. Some really funny lines. The Jeffrey Archer novels, the monkey trying to finish Romeo and Juliet and the infinite number of bananas meaning one each were all great.
I thought there were a few lines here and there that could be trimmed, like the 'write what you know' bit, but if you cut out some bits it could be really great, in my opinion.
Wasn't blown away by the ending either. What if Monkey 4 says he'd written all the plays perfectly and then they take a look and say "But its written in shit", then keep monkey 4's last line the same. Just a suggestion.

Anyway, really good stuff.

Cheers for reading Don.
And thanks for the feedback. I've taken the suggestions on board.

This is wonderfully funny and could easily be on TV.

The infinite number of bananas line is hilarious but the show-off in me is obliged to point out that some infinitely large numbers are bigger than others so there could actually be a few spare bananas lying around.

That isn't a genuine criticism of course.

My only suggestion is that the last line could be stronger, even if Monkey 4 just rolls his eyes to the ceiling and sighs "Everyone's a critic!"

In summary, it's a fabulously funny scenario with great dialogue.

A winner all the way.

There's a very good sketch in here struggling to get out. Great idea, but too unfocussed and rambling and not enough killer lines. Weak end too. Sharpen and pith up and it'll work much better.

Quote: Veronica Vestibule @ December 11 2010, 12:07 AM GMT

The infinite number of bananas line is hilarious but the show-off in me is obliged to point out that some infinitely large numbers are bigger than others so there could actually be a few spare bananas lying around.

View original

But its funny because if there's an infinite number of bananas they'll never run out, everyone should be able to have as many as they want. That's the case even if there are an infinite number of chimps. It shouldn't mean every chimp getting one banana, it should mean that each of this infinite number of chimps can have an infinite number of bananas.

Its a bit of a mind f**k cos the idea of an infinite number of anything doesn't make sense in the real world, with actual materials. But this discussion will only take away from how funny the sketch is, so sorry...

Thankyou Veronica.
& Cheers Chip.
I think I was trying to cram lines in that I thought were funny and may have lost what it was supposed to be about along the way.

Quote: Don P Musey @ December 11 2010, 1:09 AM GMT

But its funny because if there's an infinite number of bananas they'll never run out, everyone should be able to have as many as they want. That's the case even if there are an infinite number of chimps. It shouldn't mean every chimp getting one banana, it should mean that each of this infinite number of chimps can have an infinite number of bananas.

Its a bit of a mind f**k cos the idea of an infinite number of anything doesn't make sense in the real world, with actual materials. But this discussion will only take away from how funny the sketch is, so sorry...

View original

Ha Ha
I did give this one a bit of thought, but that's what made me laugh about it.
I went with infinity = infinity & to hell with logic.

Did hurt my brain a bit though.

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ December 10 2010, 8:39 PM GMT

WE SEE AN INFINITE NUMBER OF MONKEYS SITTING AT AN INFINITE NUMBER OF TYPEWRITERS.

View original

Is there a funnier stage direction than this, ever?

Loads of good - nay, great - stuff in this sketch. Just needs a bit of trimming and cutting to the chase. It would work on radio as well, with a tidy line to set it up and some typing/monkey noise in the background. Mitchell and Webb?

I read it on the bus earlier and snorted loudly at the infinite monkeys-infinite bananas line - genius!

For the record, I think the infinite sets of monkeys and bananas are the same size - in effect there is a one-to-one mapping - but at the same time any monkey can get extra bananas because is an infinite number of them. That's pretty much why I snorted.

The monkey's sad realisation that an infinite number of bananas means that he, as part of of an infinite number of monkeys, gets only ONE banana is worthy of a Woody Allen script.

Steve, like most things you write this has a genius premise. I think it's too long and too repetitive. I think all you want is the opening reveal and then four or five lines max. Choose some of the best ones - you got a fair few to choose from.

Some absolutely brilliant lines and a perfect premise for radio.

It could certainly do with some tidying, though perhaps not so much as suggested by Godot.

You don't need the line after the excellent "opposable thumbs" gag, while:

"That's what I've been saying, it stinks in here if they're expecting one of us to duplicate the complete works of the great Bard himself then at least have the decency to open a window or two."

and:

"This is ridiculous, I mean why are they making us do this anyway? I thought they always say you're supposed to write what you know. And the one thing about Monkeys is we don't tend to know much about Shakespeare."

are examples of lines where the gags can't carry the weight of exposition.

Possibly my favourite line is:

"It is very puzzling I'll give you that! Although that's not why I'm scratching my head."

Rood's suggested closing line is certainly an improvement.

It's a great concept. But not sure if the monkey one, monkey two structure is sufficient. Is there a possibility of introducing another monkey commentator? The gags are good but because it's quite long the format gets a bit tired. Or maybe the trim suggested by people would be better, not sure.

Echo everyone else. Needs trimming but ultimately a fun idea.

Another polished and funny Sunshine comedy product

This is poor, compared with some of your other stuff; '3 Musketeers' is my second favourite sketch of the year.

Are you making any real effort to break into professional comedy writing, Steve - or are you happy for it to remain a hobby?

I think - if you really pushed yourself - you'd have a decent chance of being successful.