Tim went to the ENT clinic today and had the most enormous, disgusting, fetid piece of wax excavated from his left ear.
Relieved of that festering build-up, he's now feeling vivacious and horny.
Ladies, form an orderly queue... 
Status report Page 3,162
your fault for letting Ruby lick your ears in the first place
Quote: Tim Walker @ December 3 2010, 12:04 AM GMTTim went to the ENT clinic today and had the most enormous, disgusting, fetid piece of wax excavated from his left ear.
Relieved of that festering build-up, he's now feeling vivacious and horny.
Ladies, form an orderly queue...
Are you going to keep it in a jar on your mantelpiece?
Quote: zooo @ December 2 2010, 8:51 AM GMTIT HAS FINALLY SNOWED HERE!
Where on earth are you? The Sahara? How come it's missed you up til now?
Elliot has LOADS of snow and was so disappointed when he got here to find a distinct lack of it. He managed to get home yesterday despite trains being cancelled, but I think he was just too excited about all the snow to care how long it took him to get back.
That was just info. btw - not me status reporting for him.
Quote: Tim Walker @ December 3 2010, 12:04 AM GMTTim went to the ENT clinic today and had the most enormous, disgusting, fetid piece of wax excavated from his left ear.
Relieved of that festering build-up, he's now feeling vivacious and horny.
Ladies, form an orderly queue...
Just how big was it?
The wax may be the source of his creativity. Without it Tim's nothing.
Ellie fell asleep on a nightbus last night and was woken up by the bus driver... but the bus finished his route early - so had to walk 45 minutes home through a ROUGH area.
how rough was it?
Quote: sootyj @ December 3 2010, 10:44 AM GMThow rough was it?
The rats go round in threes?
Even rapists won't go there because they're scared of getting raped?
Not even Wayne Rooney would shag it?
Quote: EllieJP @ December 3 2010, 10:37 AM GMTEllie fell asleep on a nightbus last night and was woken up by the bus driver...
Let's hope that's all he did to you before rousing you. 
Ew.
Quote: chipolata @ December 3 2010, 10:48 AM GMTLet's hope that's all he did to you before rousing you.
There was another girl on the bus - I'm sure I was okay.
Although I had mayo on my face and have no idea where it came from.
Quote: sootyj @ December 3 2010, 10:44 AM GMThow rough was it?
So rough - and slippy.
Quote: EllieJP @ December 3 2010, 11:02 AM GMTThere was another girl on the bus - I'm sure I was okay. Although I had mayo on my face
Nom nom nom...
Quote: EllieJP @ December 3 2010, 11:02 AM GMTThere was another girl on the bus - I'm sure I was okay.
Although I had mayo on my face and have no idea where it came from.
I suspect it was specially made bus conductor salty mayo. Him and the girl were in cahoots. She was about to lick it off but the bus stopped too soon.
Chip's just been talking to a squinter who blinks a lot. It was quite distracting.