SOOTYJ IS DRIVING THROUGH A WILDERNESS IN HIS MILK FLOAT
SOOTYJ
I hope I get some sleazy 70s style sex enroute my pint of purple top is rapidly turning to yoghurt and my 2 cartons of plum yoghurt, by which I mean my testicles are well past their consume by date.
HE RUNS OVER A COLLECTION OF MULBERRY BUSHES
A LITTLE OLDMAN RUNS OUT
LITTLE OLD MAN
My mulberry bushes!
SOOTYJ CARRYS ON AND RUNS THE LITTLE OLD MAN.
LITTLE OLD MAN
My life!
SOOTYJ GETS OUT AND LOOKS AT THE OLDMAN'S CORPSE
SOOTYJ
I don't believe it I've only gone and driven into the wrong sketch.
HE CHUCKS THE OLD MAN'S CORPSE IN THE BACK OF THE MILK FLOAT WHERE IT LIES ALONG WITH THE CORPSE OF MR KREOSOTE AND VARIOUS OTHER SKETCH CHARACTERS CORPSES
A HUGE CROWD APPEARS
HUGE CROWD
The messiah!
SOOTYJ
I'm not the messiah I'm just a rubbish comedy writer.
HUGE CROWD
The messiah Sootyj!
SOOTYJ
This is awkward.
A SLEAZY MEXICAN PROSTITUTE IN THE CROWD (Don Juan he's done 'em all)
We want to join your clique!
SOOTYJ
What clique?
VERONICA VAGINA (A very fragrant woman)
The one that you're head of.
SOOTYJ
About that....
GRIME OF FREEDOM (A very old R'N'B Rapper)
Yes we want to join messiah.
SOOTYJ
I created them all. I'm just a lonely, tosser the whole of the BCG are just my pretend avatars.
Haven't you noticed Nat Wicks, MarcP they're all anagrams of Sootyj.
BROWN EYE
No they're not you lying robber knobber!
SOOTYJ
I can't spell.
HUGE CROWD
Oh.
SOOTYJ
I just wanted to be as feisty as Nat Wicks, as puntalicious as Marc P and to have the hair of the Bussell.
HUGE CROWD
Boo! You achey fakey arse! Brain rapist!
MINGS MERCILESSLY (Not so fragrant)
And you've got multiple IDsthat's against site rules!
THE CLOUDS PART THE GOD AARON APPEARS AND STRIKES SOOTYJ DOWN WITH A BOLT OF LIGHTNING