A Stephen Hawking Seminar

INT. A LARGE MEETING ROOM WITH ALL OF THE WORLD'S TOP SCIENTISTS ALL TALKING AMONGST THEMSELVES WHEN STEPHEN IS WHEELED OUT ONTO THE STAGE AND THE NOISE SETTLES.

Stephen (Computerised voice): Hello and welcome to the fifth annual international scientist meeting. Hosted by me - Professor Stephen Hawking.

THERE IS A BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE AND PEOPLE ARE STILL TAKING THEIR SEATS.

Stephen: I would like to start today by going through my new theories which find flaws in three of Isaac Newton's theories including the theory of kinematic -

STEPHEN IS INTERRUPTED BY A WHISPER IN HIS EAR FROM A WOMAN. ANOTHER WOMAN IS TO HIS LEFT.

Stephen: Excuse me a second I have been called for a very urgent matter.

ONE OF THE WOMEN WHEELS STEPHEN AWAY AND THE OTHER STEPS TOWARDS THE MICROPHONE AS THE NOISE STARTS TO INCREASE FROM THE AUDIENCE.

Woman 1: Sorry guys! He needs a shit. Won't be a minute!

THERE ARE MURMURS OF DISBELIEF AND CONFUSION AND A FEW SNIGGERS CAN BE HEARD FROM THE AUDIENCE. WOMAN 1 THEN JOINS THE OTHER CARER BEHIND THE CURTAINS BUT SHE HAS TAKEN THE MICROPHONE WITH HER WITHOUT REALISING. SHE PLACES IT DOWN ON THE SIDE COUNTER.

(BROADCASTING TO THE ENTIRE ROOM)

Woman 1: Right now lets get you..that's it.. Ok lets see what you've done for us today!

Woman 2: Good Boy! That's a big, awful MESSY you've left us!

Woman 1 (to Woman 2): This is genius shit. You know if you ate this, your brain capacity would double..

Woman 2: Really?

Woman 1: (laughs) No! And that's why you're a carer.

Similar premise in The Naked Gun when Frank Drebbin takes a long, noisy piss with his microphone still attached, thus broadcasting his magnified micturition to a press conference. Incidentally, Stephen Hawking was the highlight of Superhero Movie, which also featured Leslie Nielsen.

The only premise here seems to be to be that there is something intrinsically amusing in being offensive to the disabled and to carers.

I think the premises is a meeting hall??

In response to the first post I have never actually seen the Naked Gun, but yes that sort of incident is used quite a lot!

Does it make it unfunny to joke with disabled people?

Quote: Juan of a Kind @ November 17 2010, 4:13 PM GMT

Does it make it unfunny to joke with disabled people?

View original

What do you mean by "to joke with"? To laugh at them for being disabled? That just makes you an arsehole. But perhaps I am doing you an injustice. To be honest I have no idea what the joke here is supposed to be.

My uncle is disabled we all make fun of him and he makes fun of himself..

'Want that one' etc

Does that make HIM an arsehole too then?

People making jokes about themselves is not necessarily a licence for you to do the same. It seems in your uncle's case that by making light of his situation he has licensed you to do the same, though I imagine there are still tacitly understood limits. But would you say the same things to a disabled person you met in the street?

Quote: Timbo @ November 17 2010, 6:57 PM GMT

But perhaps I am doing you an injustice. To be honest I have no idea what the joke here is supposed to be.

View original

Is the joke that the second woman is patronising Hawking when she herself is thick? That could work as a premise, but there is still a risk that the final line comes across as dismissive of carers in general, which would be offensive.

Quote: Timbo @ November 17 2010, 7:52 PM GMT

Would you say the same things to a disabled person you met in the street?

View original

It's a fair question, Timbo, but it's not a question I've seen you posing to anyone else. Reading through a variety of postings, it really does seem to me that what's acceptable and what not depends largely on who says it and/or about whom it's said.

If we widen the scope of your very reasonable question, would BCG members in general, who deride other people from the safety of their keyboards, repeat their offensive remarks to those people if they met them in the street?

I'd pay to see it in some cases.

You've earned yourself a *yawn* and a , 'Veronica'.

Quote: Veronica Vestibule @ November 17 2010, 10:27 PM GMT

It's a fair question, Timbo, but it's not a question I've seen you posing to anyone else. Reading through a variety of postings, it really does seem to me that what's acceptable and what not depends largely on who says it and/or about whom it's said.

If we widen the scope of your very reasonable question, would BCG members in general, who deride other people from the safety of their keyboards, repeat their offensive remarks to those people if they met them in the street?

I'd pay to see it in some cases.

View original

PWND!

A Veronica?

No it isn't funny, though it might be if Stephen got up from his chair himself to use the loo i.e like the wheelchair bloke in Little Britain.

But then it would be just just pinching their joke.

Chuck this sketch down the pan..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~##

A sketch based on the following sentence might work:

"So THIS is how Stephen realised that mass can emerge from a Black Hole !"

Quote: Veronica Vestibule @ November 17 2010, 10:27 PM GMT

It's a fair question, Timbo, but it's not a question I've seen you posing to anyone else. Reading through a variety of postings, it really does seem to me that what's acceptable and what not depends largely on who says it and/or about whom it's said.

View original

You seem more interested in pushing your "the BCG is a horrid beastly clique who drive away godlike talents out of jealousy" agenda than actually discussing comedy, Veronica.

As for the sketch, it leaves a sour taste in the mouth. It just feels like it's mocking the disabled.

I feel the criticism of this sketch is fair, although I do feel there is an opportunity for comedy in the premise of the public image we know of Hawking and his private life.

If I was ever to write anything like that Hawking would have to be the 'winner' in it. Not that I fancy tackling such a subject as it would be too easy to come over insensitive or even patronising. A subject for someone with more talent than me!