RELIEF

A YOUNG MAN IS SEEN URINATING AGAINST A TREE, A LOCAL RESIDENT IS NOT BEST PLEASED AND SO HAS A WORD.

RESIDENT: Oi! Oi! What do you think you're doing?

YOUTH: I was busting mister, i had to go.

RESIDENT: You should have waited till you got home, that tree is a hundred and fifty years old.

YOUTH: Really? Wow! who would have thought, is that why it's all wrinkly?

RESIDENT: All trees are like that, did you not learn that at school?

YOUTH: Nah...couldn't be arsed with school, hated it.

RESIDENT: And that tree hates spotty little Herberts like you pissing on it.

YOUTH: Yeah, i won't do it again, honest.

RESIDENT: Well that's alright then.

YOUTH: What kind of tree is it mister?

RESIDENT: It's an Elder...you should learn to respect your Elders.

This made me groan, but I must add that it was a groan of laughter!

Not too sure about that one but keep going.

Much as I like a horribly contrived joke, I'm afraid this one didn't do the business for me. Maybe because I've never heard of an Elder tree.

Perhaps if you'd chosen a pun that was universally understood, you could have made it work. Maybe even run like crazy with. I once heard a ten minute version of the 'Hans that does dishes is a soft as Jaface' joke that all but killed me.

I agree with David B.

I've heard of elderflower, but that's a bush/shrub type of thing i always thought.
Googled it and it is a tree. Hmmmm

maybe as an aternative for the less green fingered could be

RESIDENT: Oi! Oi! What do you think you're doing?

YOUTH: I was busting mister, i had to go.

RESIDENT: You should have waited till you got home, that tree is a hundred and fifty years old.

YOUTH: Really? Wow! who would have thought, is that why it's all wrinkly, like you?

RESIDENT: All trees are like that, did you not learn that at school?

YOUTH: Nah...couldn't be arsed with school, hated it.

RESIDENT: And that tree hates spotty little Herberts like you pissing on it.

YOUTH: This type of tree doesn't mind, so there.

RESIDENT: Why's that then?

YOUTH: Cos it's a Lava-tree

RESIDENT: No its not!!!

YOUTH: Sod Off

RESIDENT: It's an Elder

YOUTH: Bender

RESIDENT: You should learn to respect your Elders!

Quote: David Bussell @ November 28, 2007, 2:58 PM

Perhaps if you'd chosen a pun that was universally understood, you could have made it work.

View original

I don't actually subscribe to that line of thought because an Elder tree is up there with all memorable trees. Silver Birch is one of my favs although I've got a huge soft spot for the Oak.

But as for the sketch, well, it gave me a huge groan if only because that's the kind of thing that worked on programmes like the 'Sketch Show'. It still could be tighter but personally I still thought it came off quite well.

Quote: David Bussell @ November 28, 2007, 2:58 PM

Much as I like a horribly contrived joke, I'm afraid this one didn't do the business for me. Maybe because I've never heard of an Elder tree.

Never heard of an Elder tree? You'll be telling us next that you don't belive in Santa.

Perhaps if you'd chosen a pun that was universally understood, you could have made it work. Maybe even run like crazy with. I once heard a ten minute version of the 'Hans that does dishes is a soft as Jaface' joke that all but killed me.

View original

Erm, your point being?

I wasn't expecting the punchline and being educated (!) I have heard of the Elder. I did wonder where it was going before that.

The best tree though is of course The Larch!

Quote: David Chapman @ November 28, 2007, 5:28 PM

I wasn't expecting the punchline and being educated I have heard of the Elder.

View original

David Chapman, you have just made yourself an enemy.

Quote: David Chapman @ November 28, 2007, 5:28 PM

I wasn't expecting the punchline and being educated (!) I have heard of the Elder. I did wonder where it was going before that.

The best tree though is of course The Larch!

View original

Now you've done it David, bet he's not heard of a larch either.

Quote: David Bussell @ November 28, 2007, 5:33 PM

David Chapman, you have just made yourself an enemy.

View original

Out of wood!

Let's hope that it's not made out of elder, eh?????

I really liked this, made me laugh. :-) Good punchline, in a groaney-laugh way. Does that make it A CORNy joke?