More fun with perspective

V2 V1 below

A COLD PROSTITUTE STANDS AT A STREET CORNER WAITING FOR BUSINESS

WE SEE A JACK THE RIPPER TYPE MURDERER IN THE DISTANCE

SHE TURNS TO RUN

FX PROSTITUTE RUNNING ON COBBLES AND A PURSUING SET OF FOOTFALLS

PROSTITUTE TURNS AND SEE'S JACK IS CLOSER

FX RUNNING AS ABOVE BUT CLOSER

THE PROSTITUTE TURNS JACK IS STILL QUITE FAR AWAY SHE RUNS ON

FX RUNNING, THEN SECOND SET OF FOOTSTEPS STOP

PROSTITUTE TURNS AND LOOKS AND CAN'T SEE JACK, SHE SHRUGS

THEN JUMPS ABOUT IN PAIN

SHE LOOKS DOWN TO SEE JACK IS ACTUALLY A MIDGET AND IS INEFFECTUALLY SLASHING AT HER ANKLES

MIDGET WANNA BE MURDERER
Damn these 30 deneer tights!

I like the premise Soot and it is funny, but you need to give some clearer stage directions regarding how we see the ripper is a midget. I think you could axe the last line. It doesn't add anything.

For some reason I thought Jack the ripper would be George Osborne telling the hag the cuts were necessary.

Silly and funny, I'd go the punch of 'F*cking 70 denier, nobody looks sexy in that!'

v1

A COLD PROSTITUTE STANDS AT A STREET CORNER WAITING FOR BUSINESS

PROSTITUTE
Allo darlin' fancy some trade? Oh my God it's you!

WE SEE A JACK THE RIPPER TYPE MURDERER IN THE DISTANCE

SHE TURNS TO RUN

PROSTITUTE
Ouch my ankle!

SHE TURNS AND SEES THE MURDERER WAS INFACT A MIDGET MURDERER WHO MERELY LOOKED LIKE HE WAS FAR AWAY ON ACCOUNT OF HIS SMALLNESS
HE IS ENTHUSIASTICALLY SLASHING AT HER ANKLES WITH LITTLE SUCCESS

MIDGET WANNA BE MURDERER
Damn these thick winter tights!

Much better, but I'm going to put my foot down and insist it's 70 denier!

Compare 70 denier

to 30 denier

You know it makes sense.

70 denier works best when you want to repel Jack the Nipper.

Really funny and surreal.

Looking for some crap to send to 2525, I found this ancient sketch hope no one minds me bumping it

Style overhaul needed for 't radio though wouldn't you say? I like it very much though but could do with 'tightening' up.

Quote: sootyj @ August 21 2013, 10:50 AM BST

Looking for some crap to send to 2525, I found this ancient sketch hope no one minds me bumping it

View original

Loose the last line, replace the prostitute with Count Arthur Strong and send this to Graham Linehan.

It works perfectly with his absurdist style and he must be looking for ideas for the next series. It then ties in with the ripper story from the First series.

Just a thought.

It's a good thought thanks!