I've tried searching in vain for a site which features those old jokes which everyone over the age of 10 knows, but I can't find one. The sort of gag I'm talking about are of the "what's the difference between blah and pea soup", "doctor doctor I think I'm a pair of curtains" or "what do you call a man with a spade in his head".
Have you tried Keith Chegwin's twitter feed?
Nice to see you've put that whole episode behind you and moved on, Tony... 
Quote: Tim Walker @ September 28 2010, 12:16 AM BSTNice to see you've put that whole episode behind you and moved on, Tony...
Hey what can I say, I'm a stand up comedian, we hold more grudges than lonely high court judges...
Quote: Tony Cowards @ September 28 2010, 10:06 AMWe hold more grudges than lonely high court judges.
Oh, a Mozzer fan! 
So can anyone offer a few classic old jokes for the sake of nostalgia?
All guaranteed at least 10 years old, having been bottled on CiX for at least that long:
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Cowboy
A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber's chair and said,
"I'll have a shave and a shoe shine." The barber began to lather his face
while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts that he
had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes.
The cowboy said, "Young lady, you and I should go and spend some time in a
hotel room."
She replied, "I'm married and my husband wouldn't like that.
The cowboy said, "Tell him you're working overtime and I'll pay you the
difference."
She said, "You tell him. He is the one shaving you."
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Future Transmission
Scientists this week decoded the first confirmed alien transmission from
outer space. Here is the text of the message that they decoded:
"This really works!
Just send 5*10^50 atoms of hydrogen to each of the five star systems
listed below. Then, add your own system to the top of the list, delete
the system at the bottom, and send out copies of this message to 100
other solar systems.
If you follow these instructions, within 0.25 of a galactic rotation you
are guaranteed to receive enough hydrogen in return to power your
civilization until entropy reaches its maximum!"
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Computer Terminology
--------------------
486 - The average IQ needed to understand a PC.
State-of-the-art - Any computer you can't afford.
Obsolete - Any computer you own.
Microsecond - The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to
become obsolete.
G3 - Apple's new Macs that make you say "Gee, three times faster than
the computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond ago."
Syntax Error - Walking into a computer store and saying, "Hi, I want to
buy a computer and money is no object."
Hard Drive - The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, esp.
after a Syntax Error.
GUI - What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it.
(pronounced "gooey")
Keyboard - The standard way to generate computer errors.
Mouse - An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to
generate.
Floppy - The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
Portable Computer - A device invented to force businessmen to work at
home, on vacation, and on business trips.
Disk Crash - A typical computer response to any critical deadline.
Power User - Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.
System Update - A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.
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esus/redneck
The bartender was washing his glasses, when an elderly Irishman came in.
With great difficulty, the Irishman hoisted his bad leg over the bar
stool, pulled himself up painfully, and asked for a sip of Irish
whiskey. The Irishman looked down the bar and said, "Is that Jesus down
there?" The bartender nodded, so the Irishman told him to give Jesus an
Irish whiskey, too.
The next patron to come in was an ailing Italian with a hunched back,
who moved very slow. He shuffled up to the barstool and asked for a
glass of Chianti. He also looked down the bar and asked if that was
Jesus sitting at the end of the bar. The bartender nodded, so the
Italian said to give Him a glass of Chianti, too.
The third patron to enter the bar was a redneck, who swaggered into the
bar and hollered, "Barkeep, set me up a cold one! Hey, is that God's
Boy down there?" The barkeep nodded, so the redneck told him to give
Jesus a cold one, too.
As Jesus got up to leave, he walked over to the Irishman and touched him
and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!" The Irishman felt the
strength come back to his leg, so he got up and danced a jig out the
door.
Jesus touched the Italian and said, "For your kindness, you are
healed!" The Italian felt his back straighten, so he raised his hands
above his head and did a flip out the door.
Jesus walked toward the redneck, but the redneck jumped back and
exclaimed, "Don't touch me! I'm drawing disability!"
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Tell the truth
A fellow passed a house with a little red light burning in front, so he
stepped inside. There was nothing in sight, and nothing there but an empty
bare hallway, with 2 doors reading "Over 35" and "Under 35."
He decided to be truthful and entered the door that said "Over 35." He
found himself in another empty hallway, this one with 2 doors that read,
"Over 8 inches" and "Under 8 inches."
Truthful again, he went through the "Under 8 inches" door and found himself
in another empty hall, with 2 more doors reading, "Once a night" and "Over
4 times a night."
Still wanting to be truthful, he entered the door marked "Once a night" and
found himself back out on the street.
The moral of this story is, "Always tell the truth and you'll never get
screwed."
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Confucius say ...
Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on
pants.
If you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient.
Passionate kiss, like spider web, lead to undoing of fly.
Better to be pissed off than pissed on.
He who walk through airport door sideways going to Bangkok.
Boy who go to sleep with stiff problem wake up with solution in hand.
Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day long.
Couple on 7 day honeymoon make hole weak.
Girl who sit on jockeys lap get hot tip.
Girl who sits on Judge's lap gets honourable discharge.
Lady who go camping must beware of evil intent.
Man who stand on street corner with hands in pockets, not feeling crazy,
feeling nuts.
Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.
Rape impossible. Woman run faster with skirt up, than Man with pants
down.
He who run behind bus get exhausted.
Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion.
Man with tight trousers is pressing his luck.
He who fishes in others' holes often catches crabs.
Why do they drink Pepsi at NASA?
Because they can't get 7UP.
Heard that in the school playground the day after the challenger exploded. We didn't need Twitter back then.
Three blondes walked into a building. You'd think one of them might have seen it.
A horse walked into a bar and ordered a pint. The barman said 'why the long face?'
A bear walked into a bar and said 'can I have..........a beer.' The barman said 'sure, but why the big pause?'
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff
With a spade?
Doug
Crisp packet?
Russell
Three women were at the top of a magic slide. The magician said 'shout out your heart's desire as you slide down and you will land in it at the bottom.'
The brunette went first. She shouted 'gold,' and landed in a pile of gold.
The redhead went next, shouting 'diamonds,' and landed in a heap of diamonds.
Then it was the blonde's turn. As she went down the slide she shouted 'weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.'
How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
Shine a torch in her ear.
Two Irishmen were working on a grass verge. One was digging holes and the other was filling them up again. A passer-by asked what they were doing. Mick replied 'Planting trees, but it's Paddy's day off.
A woman went into the butchers and asked if he had a sheeps head. He replied 'no, it's just the way I part my hair'
Quote: Loopey @ November 2 2010, 8:51 PM GMTT
Two Irishmen were working on a grass verge. One was digging holes and the other was filling them up again. A passer-by asked what they were doing. Mick replied 'Planting trees, but it's Paddy's day off.
Oh I do love a good raicially based joke. Know any more?
One that I heard on Ken Bruce's Radio 2 show yesterday (and I shamefully admit made me chuckle);
What's the difference between a Kangaroo and a Kangaroot?
A Kangaroo is a pouched mammal found in Australia, a Kangaroot is what a Geordie says when he's locked in.
A white horse walks into a bar.
Barman says hey that's weird I've got a whisky named after you.
And the horse says "Eric?"
Horse walks into a bar.
Bar man says "why the long face?"
Horse says: "I've just been to the vets apparently I have horse cancer".
What do you give a sick budgie?
Tweetment.
There was a man who lived in a yellow house, it had a yellow door & yellow windows, his walls were all yellow the same as all his furnishings. he wore a yellow suit with a yellow shirt & tie & a yellow hat that he would wear at a jaunty angle.
He had a yellow cat & a yellow dog who loved to play on his yellow lawn.
One day he caught yellow jaundice.
He called his Doctor who came round straight away, but unfortunately the Doctor couldn't find him..