Over in the Showcase Forum, there's a thread entitled 'Cooking Matters' in which two very personable students from the University of Cambridge present a cookery programme for VarsiTV, a student-run video streaming service.
I've been bold enough to suggest their scripts aren't funny enough so I think it only appropriate that I show them what I think IS funny enough.
"COOKING MATTERS"
OUR TWO PRESENTERS ARE CHATTING TOGETHER
AS WE ZOOM IN, THEY TURN TO CAMERA
PRESENTER 1: Hello, good evening and welcome.
PRESENTER 2: It's not evening.
PRESENTER 1: I know. I was giving our viewers a 'frosty' reception.
P1 FLASHES A BIG CHEESY GRIN TO CAMERA
SFX: RIMSHOT (BA-DUM-CHING)
PRESENTER 2: That's very funny. Our older viewers will now be rolling in the aisles.
PRESENTER 1: Along with all the comedy aficionados.
PRESENTER 2: Aficionado? What's that - someone who likes seafood?
P2 FLASHES A BIG CHEESY GRIN TO CAMERA
NO RIMSHOT
HE LOOKS A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED
PRESENTER 1: Moving along. If you're a gastronome, we have an important announcement for you now.
PRESENTER 2: And if you're a metronome, we'll be with you in two ticks.
P2 FLASHES A BIG CHEESY GRIN TO CAMERA
NO RIMSHOT
HE LOOKS A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED
PRESENTER 1: Now, let me warn you that today's show is going to be a little bit cheesy.
PRESENTER 2: A little bit cheesy?
PRESENTER 1: Yes. You might even describe it as an homage to fromage.
P1 FLASHES A BIG CHEESY GRIN TO CAMERA
SFX: RIMSHOT (BA-DUM-CHING)
PRESENTER 2: I know what you mean. Can you guess what it's about yet, viewers?
PRESENTER 1: If you're thinking Strathdon Blue, Winterdale Shaw, Svecia or Roccolo, you're right.
PRESENTER 2: And you're probably a bit posh, like us.
PRESENTER 1: And if you're thinking Kraft slices or Dairlylea you're right too.
PRESENTER 2: But you're probably a Northerner.
PRESENTER 1: Nothing wrong with that, of course. We have a Northerner here at Cambridge.
PRESENTER 2: I've seen him. He's in the biology department. In a jar.
PRESENTER 1: But back to cookery. In the early days of TV broadcasting, the
queen of cuisine was Fanny Cradock.
PRESENTER 2: In those days, TV was new - and Fanny was one of its biggest attractions.
PRESENTER 1: Today the Internet is new - and guess what? Cookery is still as popular as ever.
PRESENTER 2: It certainly is.
PRESENTER 1: But "What about cheese?" you say. "Ou est le fromage?" Worry not. We'll be showing you some great cheeses - and some cheese graters - as the programme progresses.
PRESENTER 2: Better keep a tight hold on your mouse.
SFX: RIMSHOT (BA-DUM-CHING)
P2 LOOKS DELIGHTED
