I'm just wondering what the clearest way to write surveillance scenes is? I've got a scipt that involves one character watching on monitors what another character is doing and talking to him, giving him instructions etc.
Any advice on the best way to do this without it becoming overly complex?
Just establish that the character is talking to him on the monitor in the first chunk of stage direction. And then dialogue as normal.
Yeah, that's the way I'd go. Maybe add a line before their conversation starts...
INTERCUT BETWEEN
Intercut would mean that you would go full screen with the monitor though, which isn't always what would be required. In TV you'd write out both scenes usually! [As it requires two camera set ups]
Quote: Marc P @ October 27 2010, 2:58 PM BSTIntercut would mean that you would go full screen with the monitor though, which isn't always what would be required. In TV you'd write out both scenes usually! (As it requires two camera set ups)
True, I was assuming he was giving advice then the action would cut to the man in the monitor.
That's also true, so some action would be as is, and some action would be watched on the monitor. In a screenplay just break the into the two locations and indicate accordingly.
Cheers. It does intercut between multiple locations. Surveillance HQ and wherever the surveillee is.
Anyway, it's good to hear you're sticking to writing what you know, Chip.
Nothin to add to the prev.. Just like to say that I love your avatisitic pussy.
Quote: Tim Walker @ October 27 2010, 10:56 PM BSTAnyway, it's good to hear you're sticking to writing what you know, Chip.
In a submission script, it doesn't matter a lot how you write it as long as what you mean is clear.
The production team will transcribe it into their preferred format anyway if it gets produced.
So you could just write things like:
On the monitor, JACK and JILL are seen creeping up the hill
COPPER1
Hey they are on the move
JACK
(on the monitor)
Will we ever get to the top of this bleeding hill?
COPPER2
What did he say?
COPPER1
Shut up, will you!!
etc
COPPER1
Shut up, will you!!
This bit is overwritten,
Would be better as,
COPPER1
Shut it!
Quote: Marc P @ October 29 2010, 1:58 PM BSTCOPPER1
Shut up, will you!!This bit is overwritten,
Would be better as,COPPER1
Shut it!
Danny Dyer's agent is on the phone to you already!
One final point. When we're with the person being watched, and the watcher speaks to them, should that be (v/o)? Or maybe (d)?