AMELIA SITS AND WATCHES THE TELLY IN THE LOUNGE. A LIT PUMPKIN FLICKERS. THE FRONT DOOR SLAMS SHUT. GAVIN WALKS IN.
AMELIA
What did you get?
GAVIN
I got the new-
HE CHECKS HIS BAG.
GAVIN (CONT'D)
-Tom Cruise movie.
AMELIA IS AT A LOSS.
AMELIA
What's scary about that?
HALF AN HOUR LATER AND THEY'RE WATCHING THE MOVIE IN DISCOMFORT.
AMELIA
(anguished)
Oh my god, why is he still dancing?! (Beat) Ohhh, no, not his boudoir eyes!
TOM CRUISE (O.S.)
Hi, I'm Tom Cruise.
GAVIN SCREAMS LIKE A GIRL.
END
I came. I saw. I conked out. Didn't do anything for me, sorry. But at least this post will remove the zero and put your effort at the top of the Critique list.
Quote: Stephen Birch @ October 26 2010, 8:18 AM BSTI came. I saw. I conked out. Didn't do anything for me, sorry. But at least this post will remove the zero and put your effort at the top of the Critique list.
You're a generous man, Stephen. 
Thanks for your input.
Do you mind if I ask what you didn't like about it?
Tom Cruise's acting being frightening to watch is quite a good premise for a sketch and halloween is a good a time as any. But, the sketch as it si does lack any kind of punch. It needs to be shorter with only the bits you need for the sketch to work.
In a nutshell; Guy comes in and says he got something with Tom Cruise in it. The girl says that that isn't scary. Cut to them both screaming in fright as they watch one of the many embarrassing clips of the pint sized ego rubbing movie grub.
Quote: scratchyr @ October 26 2010, 4:35 PM BSTTom Cruise's acting being frightening to watch is quite a good premise for a sketch and halloween is a good a time as any. But, the sketch as it si does lack any kind of punch. It needs to be shorter with only the bits you need for the sketch to work.
In a nutshell; Guy comes in and says he got something with Tom Cruise in it. The girl says that that isn't scary. Cut to them both screaming in fright as they watch one of the many embarrassing clips of the pint sized ego rubbing movie grub.
Isn't that basically what it's like already?
Quote: Marooned @ October 26 2010, 5:37 PM BSTIsn't that basically what it's like already?
No.
Its over expanded is the point he is making.
Quote: Marc P @ October 26 2010, 7:23 PM BSTNo.
Its over expanded is the point he is making.
Oh yes, I realise that. But it looked like Scratchyr was suggesting what I already had written down.
I've trimmed it a bit now.
P.S. Forgot to say thanks for the input, Scratchyr. 
Do you guys think I should get rid of Amelia's last bit of dialogue?