British Comedy Guide

I wish I'd won the £122m Eurolottery because . .

. . . . . I could buy Wayne Rooney and make him sit out in the shed . . .

I could buy 122 million scratchcards.

I could finally decide to get that £122m item I've been umming and arring over.

of my next phone bill. I'm married.

I'd like to buy Scotland.

I could have people killed.

Quote: Oldrocker @ October 19 2010, 1:14 AM BST

. . . . . I could buy Wayne Rooney and make out in the shed . . .

money corrupts alright

Pay my debts and buy a nice pair of shoes with the money left.

Saw in the Metro today some woman thinks she one... 70 years old... and that her husband threw away her ticket.

If they know the when and where I hope she gets the money

Losing that much could break a perdon

I beg your perdon?

i was referring to Mark Pearson with a hardon

lol

I could fulfil my lifetime dream and finally fund the building of that 'Swingers Wing' at my hospital.

Quote: Tim Walker @ October 20 2010, 4:04 PM BST

I could fulfil my lifetime dream and finally fund the building of that 'Swingers Wing' at my hospital.

You did try to open it in pedeatrics

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