Quote: Nat Wicks @ August 29 2010, 12:17 AM BSTNew blog post up in anyone's interested.
http://comedyvirgin.blogspot.com/
a full account of the gig.
Brilliant blog Nat and know just how you felt. Well done you'll never forget your first time hahahah
Good to hear it went well Nat.
I do like the advice about the highlighter + little laughs building up to the big laughs for momentum.
When are you up Chris? I have an agonising 7 more weeks to wait yet and not too sure what is gonna make it into my 5 mins slot. Its weird how 5 mins seems so long watching someone else do it for the first time, yet I feel I could blabber on for 30 mins. I think I might have to cut the bit about bestiality out.
Quote: Jason Bumford @ September 1 2010, 9:43 PM BSTGood to hear it went well Nat.
I do like the advice about the highlighter + little laughs building up to the big laughs for momentum.
When are you up Chris? I have an agonising 7 more weeks to wait yet and not too sure what is gonna make it into my 5 mins slot. Its weird how 5 mins seems so long watching someone else do it for the first time, yet I feel I could blabber on for 30 mins. I think I might have to cut the bit about bestiality out.
Honestly, if you can cut out any 'shock subjects' I'd advise it. Too many new acts do them, and while beastiality isn't as passe as peado or rapist jokes, it's becoming a bit 'done'. Unless you have an interesting new take on it, then go for your life.
I was surpised by how little material actually made up my five minutes! I thought I had 5, and then I did timings and then had to cut two full minutes out. 7 weeks seems like a long time, but it will fly by and you will be changing your set until the very last minute. On the day of the gig I added two new jokes and even changed a punchline on the bus there.
If you want honest outsider's feedback, I'm more than happy to look over your material and give you feedback. Obviously I'm no expert, but sometimes a stanger can be your best critic!
We agreed to aim for the end of October but we haven't actually put our names down for anything yet, so God knows when it's actually going to happen.
I might take you up on that offer Nat if you're willing. I'm always glad of more opinions on my stuff that isn't from friends.
Happy to. Plus I'm dead nosy, so enjoy a good nebb at other peoples' writing.
Yay! I'll PM you in a minute.
Cheers 
I PMd you back. I haven't done that much typing in a while ! Hope that helps. You might want to pass it to one of your comedy savvy mates too, they might put a different spin on it.
Overall though, don't worry about paying to omuch attention to me- I'm brand new too so I'm no expert. Untimitely, YOU need to be confident with your material, don't make any changes unless you feel they're right.
Tick Tock - only 3 days to go for me... I'm swinging like a pendulum between nerves and excitement.
I've written out loads of sketches but I've finally decided on what I'm gonna be running on Wednesday. I've split my 5 mins evenly between 3 main topics:
1. Sex. A fairly safe anecdote/true story,
2. Crocodiles. I go a bit mental here,
3. Chile Mine Rescue. Lots of impressions crammed in here,
With the "mine rescue" being topical I'm tempted to do a lot more on that before it becomes old news... which would mean throwing away or cutting down "sex" or "crocodiles" which I've had penned down and clear in my head for ages.
Decide which is funniest and go with that. Peasy. 
Quote: Jason Bumford @ October 18 2010, 12:01 AM BSTTick Tock - only 3 days to go for me... I'm swinging like a pendulum between nerves and excitement.
I've written out loads of sketches but I've finally decided on what I'm gonna be running on Wednesday. I've split my 5 mins evenly between 3 main topics:
1. Sex. A fairly safe anecdote/true story,
2. Crocodiles. I go a bit mental here,
3. Chile Mine Rescue. Lots of impressions crammed in here,With the "mine rescue" being topical I'm tempted to do a lot more on that before it becomes old news... which would mean throwing away or cutting down "sex" or "crocodiles" which I've had penned down and clear in my head for ages.
Sex is always funny - especially when the audience are either drunk or as thick as f**k. If they're both (and they often are) you can't fail.
Crocodiles are also always funny. Just the mention will often get a laugh (that's your springboard) and if the joke's any good at all, you're flying.
The Chilean Miners? Is anybody not doing jokes about those guys?
Good luck!
Just don't do 'the differences between male and female orgasms/sex noises/sexfaces/post coital ritual' unless you have something VERY different to add to it.
I tend to just get up there, set myself on fire and crumple into a smouldering heap. Hope that helps.
Quote: Ming the Mirthless @ October 18 2010, 12:45 PM BSTSex is always funny - especially when the audience are either drunk or as thick as f**k. If they're both (and they often are) you can't fail.
Crocodiles are also always funny. Just the mention will often get a laugh (that's your springboard) and if the joke's any good at all, you're flying.
Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight I have two words for you. What's that, Sir? You have two words for me? That's very funny.
But seriously, I have two words for you: 'sex' and 'crocodiles'.
You see, the important thing about having sex with a crocodile is confidence. It's all about the confidence. A crocodile told me that. He must have been an important crocodile cos his name was Croc One. Yes, it's all about the confidence.
You get it, Madam? I'm so glad. Can you explain it to this lot?
No, before attempting any form of physical intimacy with a crocodile, you have to take control of the situation. No shilly-shallying. You have to show it who's boss. "Hey, you with the long face. Give me a blow-job and make it snappy!"
And, of course, when the sex is over and you're about to leave - don't just get up and walk away. That would be so impolite. So uncaring. What you do is give a warm smile, blow a tender kiss and say . . . "See you later, Crocodile".
Don't say 'alligator'! They get really pissed off if you call them alligators!
Quote: Jason Bumford @ October 18 2010, 12:01 AM BSTTick Tock - only 3 days to go for me... I'm swinging like a pendulum between nerves and excitement.
I've written out loads of sketches but I've finally decided on what I'm gonna be running on Wednesday.
I don't want to worry you, Jason. But I've wrote a lot of sketches and I've just bombed as a comedy act. Mind you it was at a bookshop, and was mainly reading out sketches, but still. Try to memorise it, I think that's the best way.
I speak as a terrible stand up.
Well, I did it...
I felt surprisingly confident, I got some good laughs and actually thought I was doing well... but as soon as I stumbled a little bit the cards went straight up. I lasted 2.5 of the 5 mins.
Got some positive feedback though so I'm not giving up just yet. Think I need to do some open mic nights before I do any more of these gongs.