British Comedy Guide

"Dead" sketch

JAMIE AND CARL ARE SAT NEXT TO EACH OTHER IN THE KITCHEN. THE LIGHTS ARE OFF BUT A LIT PUMPKIN FLICKERS. THEY APPEAR FIXATED BY SOMETHING OPPOSITE THEM. CARL CLINGS TO JAMIE IN DREAD. THEY SHRIEK AND SHOUT AS IF ON A LOOP.

THEY GRADUALLY RELAX.

CARL
Boy, that was scary.

JAMIE
Yep.

JAMIE CLAPS HIS HANDS TOGETHER.

JAMIE (CONT'D)
Right, time for the film then.

GRANDDAD SITS OPPOSITE AND UNFLATTERINGLY TWITCHES FROM A STROKE.

JAMIE AND CARL WANDER INTO THE OTHER ROOM.

LUCY
Everything alright?

JAMIE
Fine, fine.

LUCY
Then what was all the noise about before?

JAMIE
Oh, yeah, Granddad's dead.

A PAUSE.

LUCY
(sotto)
What?

CARL
Yeah, I think our shrieking scared him a bit.

LUCY FURROWS HER BROW AND LOOKS OVER THEIR SHOULDERS.

LUCY
He isn't dead.

GRANDDAD LURCHES TOWARD THEM, ZOMBIE-LIKE. JAMIE AND CARL TURN AROUND AND SUDDENLY RECOIL.

CARL AND JAMIE
ARGHHH!!

GRANDDAD
Ohhh for God's sake, (Beat) why have I shit myself?

END

Made me laugh.

Quote: AngieBaby @ October 15 2010, 11:00 PM BST

Made me laugh.

Thank you. Glad somebody else got a laugh out of it. :)

It was nice & silly
I thought it could have ended on the Granddad reveal as a quickie.
Which made me wonder why their screaming might have scared him, as I imagined they were screaming because of him being lifeless.

Then I liked the Zombie bit, but the pay off in the end didn't work for me
It may have been worth escalating the guys being scared at things that turned out to be something different.

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ October 16 2010, 12:53 AM BST

It was nice & silly
I thought it could have ended on the Granddad reveal as a quickie.
Which made me wonder why their screaming might have scared him, as I imagined they were screaming because of him being lifeless.

Then I liked the Zombie bit, but the pay off in the end didn't work for me
It may have been worth escalating the guys being scared at things that turned out to be something different.

Thanks for your feedback, Steve. :)

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