British Comedy Guide

Chile

Chile

Miner comes up in capsule
WIFE
So where the f**k have you been?

Miner
Hanging around for ages.

WIFE
A likely story.

MINER
I've been underground for two months

WIFE
That's what they all say.

MINER

Can anyone else finish this?

Man gets back in tube

man: I forgot something

wife: what?

Man: Your the reason I stayed down there so long!

-'?@

okay, bit ropey - any other takers?

:D :D :D fab

It could work nicely as a very quick one-liner

Version 1

Miner comes up in capsule looking disheveled and relived he's out. He staggers towards his wife his face happy with expectation.

WIFE
Where the f**k have you been?

or

Version 2

Miner comes up in capsule
WIFE
So where the f**k have you been?

MINER
I've been underground for two months

WIFE
That's what they all say. Prove it.

The miner thinks and then holds his fingers upwards

MINER
Stalactites

He smiles and turns his fingers down

MINER
Stalagmites

His wife slaps him

WIFE
It's the other way around you lying pig. I hate you.

Personally I always avoid topical stories like the miners because everyone's writing one, but I like both Rob's and Ishy's suggestions. The stalagmites is original.

I'd quite like a twist on it though, maybe he's a builder from Essex?

I think it's wide open to a load of wit/comedy

It's a great premise.
& The only pay off I can think of is the missus being a lot more moany & the guy winching himself back down there at the end.

I think JayH hit it pretty much on the head. I like the idea of him going round for another ride like a kid on a fairground, but that doesn't really fit the set up.

Chile

Miner comes up in capsule

WIFE
So where the hell have you been?

Miner
I've been in a cave f**king 32 blokes. It was great.

or

what was it like.

it was like our first night together; the anticipation, the excitment, the relief of finally getting there...

...and the discovery I was the 32nd one up that day.

Whistling nnocently

Quote: Godot Taxis @ October 14 2010, 12:52 AM BST

Chile

Miner comes up in capsule

WIFE
So where the hell have you been?

Miner
I've been in a cave f**king 32 blokes. It was great.

:D :D :D

WIFE ... the f**k have you been?

MINER: At the optician's

WIFE: 69 days at the optician's!?

MINER: Yeah. Apparently I've got tunnel vision.

Remember Mites grow up but Tites come down.

:D Cool

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