Hello everyone, I've wrote a scene. Its for my course work, Its 8 pages long. It about two people who are stuck in an elevator. The backdrop is the office. Any feedback or suggestion would be great.
Although I was suppose to write an 8 page drama about 2 people stuck in a lift, as most dramas have an element of comedy. I'm sure this scene would work both in a drama/sitcom.
Also if you spot in grammar or spelling error let me know, as my grammar and spelling is a bit weak.
INT. OUTSIDE ELEVATOR - EVENING
SAM, 40S, WELL DRESSED, WAITING OUTSIDE AN ELEVATOR. ELEVATOR DOOR OPENS, SAM ENTERS. LISA, 30S, CASUALLY DRESSED, RUNS TOWARDS THE ELEVATOR.
LISA
Hold the elevator.
SAM TRIES TO CLOSE THE ELEVATOR DOOR. LISA MANAGES TO GET HER FOOT BETWEEN THE DOORS. THE DOOR OPENS.
INT. INSIDE ELEVATOR.
LISA ENTERS.
LISA
That was close.
SAM IGNORES HER.
LISA (CONT'D)
Busy day?
SAM
(UNINTERESTED)
Yeah.
LISA
Doing any thing tonight?
SAM
No.
LISA
There's a glass of Vodka with lime out there with my name on it.
THE ELEVATOR STARTS TO MAKE AN ECHO SOUND.
SAM
What was that.
LISA
Its probably nothing.
THE ELEVATOR STOPS AT THE FIRST FLOOR.
SAM
Why aren't the doors opening.
THE LIGHT GOES OUT.
LISA
Must be a power cut.
SAM
Power cut?
LISA
Yeah. I guess were trapped in an elevator.
LISA PICKS UP THE EMERGENCY PHONE ON THE ELEVATOR.
LISA (CONT'D)
Hello, this is Lisa, I'm calling from the elevator. (BEAT) Do you know how long its going to be. (BEAT) thanks anyway.
SAM
What did he say. Are we under Attack. Was it the terrorist.
LISA
No. Its just a Power cut. Apparently The power's out in the whole area.
SAM SITS ON THE FLOOR.
SAM
Great, just great, what else could go wrong for me today? I need to get out of here.
LISA
Don't tell me You Suffer From Claustrophobia? Oh wait you do?
LISA SITS BESIDE HIM.
SAM
(HEAVILY BREATHING)
I think I'm having a panic attack. I can't breathe.
LISA
Just take a deep breath. I'm sure the power will be back up pretty soon.
SAM
I hate elevators. My second worst fear is being trapped in one.
LISA
I guess this situation doesn't help. What's your first?
SAM
Being buried alive.
LISA
Yeah I guess I don't fancy that myself either. I wouldn't want to get into heaven that way.
SAM
I think I'm going to pass out.
LISA
I've got an idea why don't you close your eyes and imagine yourself somewhere else, a pub, a park, or your favourite place.
SAM
(CLOSES HIS EYES)
Yeah its working, I'm sitting at my desk, completing the merger file.
LISA
Or that. (TAKES OUT HER PHONE) My batteries dead. Do you have a phone, I could use?
SAM
(OPENS HIS EYES)
Yeah, but I only use it for emergency.
LISA
Don't you think this is an emergency.
SAM HANDS HER THE PHONE. LISA DIALS.
LISA (CONT'D)
(ON THE PHONE)
Hello Helen its Lisa. (BEAT) I'm stuck in an elevator. (BEAT) Could you (BEAT) Yes in an elevator. (BEAT) Could you do me a favour. (BEAT) I've no idea. (BEAT) Could you just feed the dog. (BEAT) I'll be there as soon as possible. (BEAT) Thanks. (BEAT) I owe you one. I've got to go. (RETURNS THE PHONE TO SAM) Thanks.
SAM
I didn't think you were a dog person.
LISA
I love dogs. Do you have a dog? Or a pet?
SAM
No. I don't really like animals. I Use to have an hamster though, When I was young.
LISA
What happened to it.
SAM
It died.
LISA
I'm sorry to hear that.
SAM
Well it wasn't your fault.
LISA
How did it die.
SAM
I don't know. Probably died of loneliness.
AWKWARD PAUSE.
LISA
(TAKES OUT HER WALLET)
Do you want to see a picture of my dog.
SAM
(UNINTERESTED)
I Suppose, why not. (LOOKS AT THE PICTURE) That's a fox.
LISA
(TAKES THE PICTURE BACK AND LOOKS AT IT) No its a dog. Its a corgis breed. Thre're Suppose to look a bit like a fox.
THE LIGHTS COME ON. SAM QUICKLY GETS UP STARTS PRESSING BUTTONS. THE DOOR DOESN'T OPEN.
LISA (CONT'D)
Just give it a minute.
SAM
(STARTS BANGING AT THE DOOR) Hello! Could anyone hear me. (TO LISA) Why is it taking this long?
LISA GETS UP AND PICKS UP THE EMERGENCY PHONE AGAIN.
LISA
Hello. (TO SAM) No one's picking the phone up.
SAM
You've got to be kidding me. (SITS DOWN)
LISA
(SITS DOWN) I'm sure we'll be out any minute now. (BEAT) Oh did you here Gary got the promotion. He's the new accounts manager.
SAM
What! I've got an interview on Monday for that job.
LISA
Oh its probably just a rumor.
SAM
Yeah.
LISA
So you having anything good for your dinner tonight?
SAM
Fish and chips.
LISA
Chippie eh? I quite fancy a fish supper myself.
SAM
Er... No Asda's smart price oven fish & chips.
LISA
Oh well that's Er.. Healthy.
SAM
I don't like chippie, its too greasy.
LISA
Yeah. (BEAT) How come your working till late?
SAM
I've got an mortgage to pay, and an expensive ex-wive. That's what happened when you don't get a prenup.
LISA
I'll keep that in mind. (BEAT) What happened to Liz. I so her sitting outside Georges office this afternoon on my way back from lunch. She didn't look too happy.
SAM
She got sacked.
LISA
Sacked? What for?
SAM
She was a thief.
LISA
What? Liz the receptionist?
SAM
Yep that's her. She was caught stealing office supplies.
LISA
What exactly did she steal.
SAM
You name it. Printer paper, staplers, pens and not to forget the toaster from staff room, which apparently went missing last year.
LISA
I always wondered what happened to that toaster.
SAM
She even stole my loaf. Weight Watchers Brown Danish.
LISA
She seemed like a nice person. She's been here like 5 years or something. I never once thought she would do something like this.
SAM
It Just shows you what people are capable of.
LISA
That's true.
SAM
Just like my dad use to say everyone, is a thief until proven otherwise.
LISA REACTS
LISA
Okay.
FOOTSTEPS ARE HEARD. SAM GETS UP.
SAM
I think I hear someone. Hello could anyone hear me.
SECURITY GUARD (V.O.)
Hello.
SAM
Who's this.
SECURITY GUARD (V.O.)
Who? Are you talking to me? I can't hear you through the metal door.
LISA
(SHOUTS) You need to speak loader. We can't hear you.
SECURITY GUARD (V.O.)
(SHOUTS) Its Andy, the security Guard.
LISA
(SHOUTS) It's nice to meet you Andy. Do you think you could get us out of here?
SECURITY GUARD (V.O.)
(SHOUTS) Oh I'm afraid Mr. George has instructed us not to phone the repair man in evening and weekends as they apparently charge more.
SAM AND LISA REACT.
LISA
Does Mr. George, expect us to spend the weekend in here.
SECURITY GUARD (V.O.)
Well er... I'm actually on my tea break.
SAM
(SHOUTS) Oh I'm sorry to disturb your tea break. How would you feel about having unlimited tea break, when your waiting in a line to collect your unemployment cheque.
SECURITY GUARD (V.O.)
I'll see what I could do.
INT. INSIDE ELEVATOR 10 MINUTES LATER.
THE DOOR OPENS. THE SECURITY GUARD IS STANDING WITH A CROWBAR. THE SECURITY GUARD DROPS THE CROWBAR AND ENTERS. BOTH SAM AND LISA ARE RELIEVED.
LISA
Are we glad to see you.
SECURITY GUARD
Its amazing what you could do with a crowbar.
LISA AND SAM GET UP. THE SECURITY GUARD PRESS'S A BUTTON. THE DOOR SHUTS.
SECURITY GUARD (CONT'D)
Ground floor, I take it.
THE ELEVATOR GOES DOWN AND STOPS. THE DOORS DON'T OPEN. THE SECURITY GUARD IS REPEATEDLY PRESSING BUTTON'S.
SECURITY GUARD (CONT'D)
I think the elevator broke again.
The END