Just a quickie

This is just a sketch I thought up might shoe horn it in some were in an episode any comments welcome.

MAN
The housing market is really strict, not even Jesus could get on it.

INT. ESTATE AGENT - DAY

Jesus sits behind a desk whilst an agent types his details into a computer.

AGENT
Ok Mr.Christ I'm afraid your application has been refused

Jesus
What? how come?

Agent
Well sir our credit checks are based on a number of things, you have had no permanent address for a number of years and the keeper of the barn you said you were born in was unavailable to give reference.

Jesus
Oh come on! This is bullcrap! I'm the saviour for crying out loud. Surely I can rent a 3 bedroom semi!

Agent
I'm sorry Sir

Jesus Looks up to the heavens and starts preying

Jesus
Father, give us a sign I am your son and their savior, so I may convince this organization to rent me a home.

EXT. ALLEYWAY- NIGHT

Jesus is sheltering from the rain in a box. A bolt of lighting hits the ground next to him and an eight headed camel appears in a puff of smoke.

Jesus
A bit late you jackass.

-END

Decent idea, lots more potential to it. e.g. why does he want a three bed semi anyway?

My picky bits are:

I wouldn't bother with an introductory line that gives away the entire premise.

Also not sure Jesus's dialogue is consistent with what we might expect Jesus to say - would it be funnier if he replied with biblical-type speak, in a gracious and holy way? Or is it funnier if he becomes stroppy and foul-mouthed? That's your call, though for me it's funnier as the former.

I can see what you mean turn the other cheek etc, no prob. Quickly robin to the drawing board!!! Basically I'll look at it again cheers Badge

Edit: Robin is my boy wonder of comedy

It's ok - definitely worth developing, perhaps with a more surprising or irreverant feel. What I mean is, take some part of the mythology of Jesus' and make it contemporary, surreal, base, bizarre ( a bit like the 8 headed camel idea). Good stuff though.

Not to be too picky, but it would be a bank/mortgage company he would go to to get the money, not an estate agent.

I like the premise and you could have a series of short sketches based on Jesus.

What about Jesus gets a job in a fish & chip shop then they find they've always got more fish left at the end of the night.

Ross

Quote: Badge @ January 22, 2007, 11:45 PM

Also not sure Jesus's dialogue is consistent with what we might expect Jesus to say - would it be funnier if he replied with biblical-type speak, in a gracious and holy way? Or is it funnier if he becomes stroppy and foul-mouthed? That's your call, though for me it's funnier as the former.

View original

My immediate take on this was that it's just the kind of thing 'Family Guy' excel at including contemporary speak. On the negative side however, I felt that it all went on a bit but on the plus side the style was absurd and funny.

To me this is a one gag sketch and perhaps it would be interesting to peel away to a couple of Jehovah Witnesses sitting at another desk suddenly noticing Jesus, or somebody they think just might be the saviour. I think you could run several different gags from an estate agency setting without losing the audience. Do you feel brave enough to have, say, Hitler or Ghandi entering into the housing market or even a little short fat bloke - sorry, I meant Budha?

But getting back to what you’ve actually written with the Jesus theme, I reckon the scope is enormous for almost any kind of irreverence by way of spite and smite humour.

I liked it. I always like the personification of God, but in a modern 'one of us' sort of way.

i liked it, i don't really laugh at comedy about religeon it just isn't to my taste, but this induced a laugh so well done,
well done
LR

With regards the 3 bedroom semi, it could peel back and have Mary Magdeline sat nursing a crying baby, perhaps she could be nagging him -

Mary - "For Christs sake you can't even put a roof over your sons head"

Jesus - "Just shut up, shut up, shut up!!"

Actually i want to write that one now.

Thanks guys for all your comments I'll glad everyone liked it Really helpful and insightful comments I will take them on board and will develop this idea further. I do have a joke about the confusion between Alah's and his evil identical twin Alan but lets see how it pans out before I post that hot potato thanks a million guys

it's almost like "what would Jesus do?" - you could have Jesus in a range of contemporary bureaucratical settings that we all recognise