British Comedy Guide

old clowns sketch

INT.OLD FOLKS HOME. TWO RETIRED CLOWNS(ARTHUR AND BOB) TALK ABOUT OLD CIRCUS FRIENDS. BOB IS OCCASIONALLY HARD OF HEARING.

A. Whatever became of Midget Mike?

B. Dead.. I was one of the few normal sized people who paid my respects.. biggest collection of dwarves ever seen.. I even got a lift of his hamper.

A. His hamper?

B. Oh, Mike's temper was legendary.. he had a short,short fuse.

A. No, not temper.. hamper!

B. Oh, hamper.. yes he was buried in a hamper.. he was big for a dwarf. Tiny midgets have to make do with a picnic basket when they snuff it.

A. What about Bill?

B. Bill?

A. Yes, 'Wall of Death' Bill.

B. Bill's dead too.. died of a spoke in heart.

A. Go to his funeral, did you?

B. No, I sent a wreath. Bloody wreaths were ruined I heard. The mourners tried to toss them over his gravestone - hoopla style.

A. Bunch of clowns!

A. And Oswald?

B. Who's bald?

A. No, no.. Oswald, human cannonball Oswald?

B. Oh Oswald.. Dead.. buried at sea he was.

A. Was he a sailor?

B. No, whaler.. best harpooner around in his youth. Got blasted from his cannon one final time into the sea.

A. Awful shame.

B. You're right.. those helmets cost a fortune.

A. I take it Jack is dead?

B. Jack?

A. Yeah, Jack.. he did mime.

B. Oh yes, Jack.. Jack went into theatre.. i think he had a shout at panto.

A. Horse?

B. I would be surprised if he wasn't.. he smoked 50 a day.

A. No, pantomime horse.. not hoarse.

B. Well, he was a man of few words.

A. Where's he now then?

B. He's behind you!

ENDS.

Nigel, you've opened with a flourish! Well done, the ending especially.

This had a Two Ronnies appeal about it. Slight problem for me was that there wasn't a strong dividing line between the two clowns. Didn't ruin it for me but even so, it still could be tighter.

I thought about the two ronnies too. I liked the idea and with a little development it could be very very good.

mmmmm.. some dialogue not needed possibly. It was a question and answer session really.. two weeks (or a fortnight in old money) into learning? comedy writing.. character development to follow.

I really liked it-especially the ending. I liked the fast pace it had with small amounts of dialogue from each character at a time. Nice work! Q

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