Hey guys,
Well, a friend and I are on our gap year, and we thought we'd have a go making our own sketch show. So, with a budget of £0, using a friend's camera and my illegal copy of Sony Vegas to edit, we managed to put this together......
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gnf1E9OmQDY
We've decided to put out a new sketch every week, as we have a lot of ideas in the making. Any feedback at all would be much appreciated!
If you like it, please do subscribe!
Thanks!
-Rich
That's a funny idea for a sketch but it's way too wordy and not nearly funny enough.
It's just one idea dragged out too long and consequently the sketch is way too lengthy at 80 seconds.
I don't foresee many people subscribing unless you re-do it and make it into a really good sketch.
How do you do that?
Easy!
You start with your existing script:
The guy is selling drugs on the street.
A customer comes up, buys some drugs and the dealer asks him if he'd like to join the loyalty scheme.
The customer says 'no' but the dealer persists with sales patter.
Then, instead of dragging out the sales patter for another 70 seconds, it goes:
The customer says 'no' again and again getting more and more exasperated.
The dealer eventually accepts the refusal and the customer walks away.
After he walks a few yards, a bell sounds and an arm shoots out (from somewhere) and grabs the customer.
We see the arm is attached to a tough guy.
The dealer runs up to the customer saying 'Sorry, Sir. It's my fault. I forgot to remove the tag'.
Result? An excellent sketch, you'll look like real pro's and people will subscribe and send the link to their mates.
Sorted!
Moved to Critique. 
cheers zooo, still fairly new here
and ming that's a nice idea, but we're not gunna withdraw any of the sketches that have already gone out, but cheers for the feedback 